Wednesday, May 8, 2013

To the "IRON" woman I know!

mom N bhayya
She works like a robot which is given 100 commands in stretch but still has energy and time in the whole day, to allot for each and every person near and dear to her. She sacrifices her needs and desires just to satisfy the same near and dear's wishes. In the "To-do" memos she jots down the top five are always

1.) That jewelry or that watch I always loved.
2.) The dress or the suit which suits my brother most.
3.) To make chicken biryani and gulab jamuns over the weekend when I will be visiting home .
4.)To get all the formal shirts of her man pressed and to get his master health checkup done which is pending from over a month 
5.) To offer prayers for our well- being , our health , our prosperity and happiness. 
 mom and dad "elated" by looking at their first baby in cradle!!

After that top 5 if there is still time and energy left to get some of her wishes fulfilled she ignores it as she is busily cross checking if we have got what all we need, if we are happy with what we have, if there is something troubling me, if we are all set to do something we wanted to from long and if we are well prepared to do it or not so on so forth. Sometimes I feel she nags and bugs us a lot! I let out a sigh saying," Mom, don’t you get tired at this age? Why don’t you just take a break (and give us a break).She then says, "I am not lazy! I am ultra-busy so do I have time and can spend my energy in doing  what all I want to and letting you all know what all you have to.
I never emphasized on the above thing but when I started staying away from her, I realized what she was telling! After I got a home to myself, I mean after getting married I realized how tough it is to manage a house and I was shell shocked to listen to a new me who was sounding like my mom :) 

Recently when she visited me for 10 days, I told her the same that I am sounding like her. I told this to her on one fine sunny morning as my brother and she who were busily engaged in some conversation were not approaching the breakfast table and I got extremely angry as the breakfast I made was getting cold! I shouted at them, “Can you please come and eat? My work will be done and I can go fill the water bottles ". This exactly is what my mom says whenever we laze around.
Me with my Brother exploring the fields near the Quarters we used to live!

When my work got a bit increased every day, like preparing lunch for 4-5 people instead of 2, cleaning vessels as maid took an unplanned leave, cleaning the house and all other monotonous tasks which you got to do and there is no other go and all the kitchen resources which you have to replenish all the time just oozed my energy out! I was frustrated within 3 days. My mom was my savior again. My husband is an expert cook and more patient than me but as he was also keeping busy it’s my mom who saved me as always. In spite of her arthritis and the 24*7 medication she was using, the only thing which worried her the most was that I WAS DOING ALL THE TASKS in maid's absence and even if I warned meekly not to work she cleaned the kitchen, mopped the platform, cooked for the day and asked me to rest for a while. I felt ashamed as she had to work here too because of me and I was so dependent on her. As soon as I see her I don’t feel like working, I don’t feel like lifting my lazy bones and walking till kitchen to take my tea cup. I become lazy and happy. I am like that smiling baby cuckoo which lazes around when it is fed full stomach when Mama cuckoo is cooing around! I helped her a bit but mostly she alone managed all the tasks. Not only managing but she had set all things in my room, cleared the mess and made it a well-organized and clean place. I felt so bright and wonderful when I saw the change!

In spite of me being so lousy when it comes to maintaining home and doing things on time she was so impressed and jubilant on seeing my progress that she said that being a grownup woman I can handle all house hold things. She also told she never dreamt that I will cook and serve the way I was doing [which according to me is just mediocre. You can say I am just managing to live]. She says I AM A RESPONSIBLE lady now. Well I don’t know how much of that is true and how much is out of her immense love towards me.

Even if her joints were not cooperating with her, she brought all her energy out to make that Éclairs cake, my favorite curry and chicken on the day she was leaving. I didn’t understand what to tell her. I was crying when I first left her. I really don’t know if I am a grown up lady but I was fighting back tears and actually trying to give an assuring smile to her that I would be fine when she was leaving.

Once mom, dad left and house got vacant there was a kind of lacuna in my stomach too. I was deadly silent. My husband planned a movie to night but it couldn't brighten my spirits. My spirits were more dampened when I saw her struggling to climb down the stairs or do works quickly like before. We can never stop aging but whenever I see her patience, spirit to do works, the way she manages small and big tasks I pray to GOD for her good health and I feel ashamed that even if I am fit and fine I cannot be half good as she is.Even in that short span of 10 days there were moments when I showed my anger and frustration on her but she was silent and nodded as if she understands me and damn! She understands me like no one else! She is my bestest girl friend with whom I shared "almost all" my thoughts, secrets, envies, ambitions, intentions (good/bad) and everything under the sky. 
We love U MOM!

My mom is an unpaid entrepreneur at home who expects love and a hug as remuneration. I became a better person only due to her. No one influenced me like her. Her enthusiasm and optimism are contagious. She sure is inspiring. This post is for you mom, for all the moments which made my days brighter and load lighter! You are the best. A day is less to recognize your efforts and measure your love but still advance HAPPY MOTHERS DAY  

I wish to get my story published in Chicken Soup for the Indian Entrepreneurs Soul in association with
Thank You Blogadda for this opportunity :)


  1. Aww!! This is such a lovely write-up. Mothers are God's best creation. For a mother, all that matters is the happiness of her children and nothing above it. She wouldn't care about any of her ailments and work indefatigably to make all the pain of her kids go away. A salute to all the mom out there.

    I am sure your article will get selected. :)

  2. Thanks a lot for ur comment vaudeville . The topic is for entrepreneurs but I too hope it gets selected :) didn't have luck yet :-o
    Thanks a lot for uplifting my spirits

  3. This is a sweet post. It is amazing how mothers have so much energy. When I am at home, it exhausts me to do even small amounts of work and mom with all her ailments is jumping from one room to another.

    1. True !
      They just never get tired !
      Thanks for reading

  4. So sweet Afshan. Lovely pics. Moms are the best. Day by day I realize that I'm a lot like her, it's surprising.

    Good luck for the selection. Hope this cuts it :)

    1. We can only hope :) Thanks nandu !
      Yep we get transformed to our moms :P :)
      Good day

  5. What a sweet tribute to your mom, Afshan, and just in time for Mother's day too this Sunday. I hope this post finds its rightful place in the Chicken soup series. A mother's work is never done, they say. God bless you and your mother.

    1. Wowow ! this comment made my day
      Thanks Cynthia . I hope they select me :-o Have to see
      thank u

  6. What a sweet memoir! Happy mother's day to your mom!

  7. What a lovely tribute to your Mom, Afshan! A perfect mother's day gift!
    All the very best... hope to read this in the book again!
    Cheers :)

    1. Thanks for ur wish and comment shiilpa !
      I too hope so
      Hav to wait and watch

  8. By the way that reminds me of a joke. What do u call an Iron Man?

    A. Fe Male

  9. That's a post so full of love...Afshan!! God bless!

  10. Oh Afshan, this is so sweet, such a love filled post. I really hope this gets published, what a fitting tribute to your mother you have paid here.

    PS: At first, I read mom n Bhayya as mom and Bhavya. Do I need to say the rest? :P

  11. All moms have a knack for becoming the perfect entrepreneur the business of being a mom is not even profitable :D lovely post

  12. I realise I have read this one :) I will forward it do you think you can truncate it?



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"When God Spoke to Me!"

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