Saturday, April 11, 2026

Daughter's Wisdom Nuggets - 4

Somewhere between thinking about war, the economy, job uncertainty… and what to make for dinner, checking school diary notes, deciding between a pedicure or rosemary oil, and whether I really need that vase - my brain was running 47 tabs at once (yes, this is my normal state).

My daughter quietly observing me:

Her: What are you thinking, ma?

Me: Nothing… you won’t get it.

Her: Try me.

Me: Okay… about war, all the sadness around… and what could happen to my job this year.

Her (calmly): Ma, you know… yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.

Me: Okay okay, I know… I think I saw that in a Disney movie.

Her: Nooo ma! It’s from Kung Fu Panda. Master Oogway says it!

(Me in my head: mentally noting to ask Google/ChatGPT later who actually said it)

Me: Oh ya… I know that quote!

Her: Knowing and doing are different, ma. What’s the use of just knowing? You have to actually do it… cling to it.

Me… sipping water… slightly shocked… and slightly proud...And in that moment, I realised -

I might be the parent, but she is clearly the Master Oogway of this house ๐Ÿข✨


Fun fact : The quote is actually attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt but became famous after being used in the Kungfu Panda movie!

Tuesday, March 31, 2026

8 AM Metro - A Gentle Ride Through Unspoken Emotions

The moment I started watching this 2023 film, I was struck by a thought - how we seem to have a dearth of soft, warm, feel-good films today. Everything now leans towards overstimulation, violence, or excessive skin show.

The film’s premise is simple, yet deeply layered. It touches upon issues like anxiety, panic attacks, and depression with quiet sensitivity.

                            

Two strangers meet, greet, and feel an instant connection - not an entirely new premise for Bollywood. But here, that connection stems from their vulnerabilities, their incompleteness. Two poetic souls - Preetam and Iravati - find themselves drawn to each other.

Preetam, played by Gulshan Devaiah, is someone with a growing love for poetry and literature. Iravati, portrayed by Saiyami Kher, writes not just as a hobby, but as a way to release her thoughts and converse with herself. As a poet, I found her character deeply relatable. There is something profoundly comforting in watching her pick up her pen after a long, mundane day and simply pour her heart onto paper.

Preetam admires her - her poetry, her essence - while she begins to admire him, his life, and even his wife, Mrudula, who also writes poetry. Yet, as the film progresses, an underlying unease creeps in. Is there a hidden darkness behind Preetam’s effervescent smile? And is Iravati’s anxiety deeper than what meets the eye?

At times, the dialogues arrive unexpectedly - almost abruptly - without dramatic buildup. It feels more like a stage play unfolding in fragments. But perhaps that rawness works in the film’s favor.

One particular moment stayed with me - when Iravati questions why people wait until their deathbeds or moments of tragedy to express their feelings:

"เคฒोเค— เค…เคชเคจे เคœเคœ़्เคฌाเคค เค•เคนเคจे เค•े เคฒिเค เคนเคฎेเคถा เค•िเคธी เค†เค–เคฐी เคชเคฒ เค•ा เค‡ंเคคเคœ़ाเคฐ เค•्เคฏों เค•เคฐเคคे เคนैं?" [Why do people always wait until the last moment to express their feelings?]

One of many favorite conversations

Reflecting on her father’s death, she voices a thought many of us have quietly carried. A lifetime lived within society’s rigid frameworks, only to be flooded with regrets when time begins to slip away.

Preetam, an extreme introvert, struggles to open up. Iravati gently nudges him to speak to a stranger, just to overcome his fear - and they laugh about it. Through beautifully captured frames and poetic exchanges, the film flows like a calm river on a summer afternoon - until the floodgates open, revealing the silent battles both are fighting.

Their bond grows during brief metro rides - conversations, shared silences, random anecdotes. It becomes something profound, yet undefined. Not everything needs a label.

Another line that quietly lingers:

"เคนเคฐ เค‡ंเคธाเคจ เค•े เค…ंเคฆเคฐ เคเค• เค•เคนाเคจी เคนोเคคी เคนै, เคฌเคธ เค•ोเคˆ เคธुเคจเคจे เคตाเคฒा เคšाเคนिเค।" [Every person has a story inside them; all they need is someone to listen.]

Watching them sipping filter coffee standing near Durgam cheruvu ( of Hyderabad) made me almost vicariously live the moment where I was also enjoying my coffee listening to two close friends. In a world where meaningful connections are rare, finding someone on the same wavelength feels like a blessing. And if we fail to hold on to such bonds, what remains are regrets - which many among us successfully have!

The film might feel triggering for those dealing with severe anxiety or depression, but it also serves as a gentle reminder - no matter how difficult a phase is, it will pass.

The reference to Franz Kafka’s doll story, symbolizing loss and healing, was a beautiful way to conclude this conversational narrative. It highlights how strangers sometimes become our comfort, even if briefly. And in today’s world of fleeting connections, dating apps, and emotional superficiality, such a story feels like a soothing balm.

Wednesday, February 4, 2026

Dhurandar: Why the Spectacle Didn’t Work for Me

I walked into Dhurandar genuinely curious, given the massive hype and near-universal praise. I walked out puzzled after an ordeal of 3 days - I watched 1 hr per day on OTT!

Despite its slick execution, catchy music, and reasonably effective albeit gory visuals, the film left me uneasy, not because of its violence or dark themes, but because of what those elements were ultimately used to convey.

The film leans heavily on loud nationalism, stylised brutality, and exaggerated bravado to project an image of a “New India” that is supposedly tougher and more decisive than before and prepared to wipe off terrorism and crimes from the face of India. Like seriously ?!!

Unfortunately, this comes at the cost of nuance. What could have been a layered spy thriller, often felt more like a glorified gang or mafia war wrapped in the language of patriotism.

Violence is provocative and almost nauseous. While cinema has every right to explore brutality, here it felt excessive and unnecessary. Certain scenes were so graphic that I found myself closing my eyes. They are tough to watch and added so little to the narrative.

Akshay Khanna’s performance deserves a mention. He brings restraint and some nuance to the role, aided by his accent and dialogue delivery, but the character never feels truly intimidating or powerful. Hence the hype for his role of Rehman Dakait - I didn't get it at all.
Considering his body of work - negative roles like Humraaz, intense performances in Drishyam, patriotic films such as Border, and softer roles in Taal and Dil Chahta Hai - this portrayal does not rank among his best. The character may appear dangerous on paper, but that impact doesn’t fully translate on screen.

What troubled me most was how the film quietly fuels hatred in the name of nationalism. It doesn’t rely on loud slogans, but it constantly pushes an Us versus Them narrative through its visuals and storytelling. The emotions are engineered to provoke rather than to reflect, and that subtle manipulation is where Dhurandar completely lost me.

Films like Roja (not a spy movie), Raazi, Mission Majnu, or even Kamal Haasan’s not so greatly made Vishwaroopam ( all espionage thrillers) manage to evoke patriotism without political chest-thumping. The love for the country in those movies feels organic and sincere. In contrast, Dhurandar often feels like a platform to glorify the present while discrediting the past, a framing that felt simplistic and immature.

Wednesday, January 7, 2026

No Uterus - No Opinion

One kid, two kids, three or four -

Why does society keep the score?

Zero kids? Instant concern,

Suddenly every aunt can discern!


An uncle leans in, clears his throat,

Audits my womb like a balance note.

Plan soon. “Time is ticking,” he declares,

Strange - I don't remember my life being listed in your cares?


Age added years, not common sense,

Wrinkles deep, but too much pretense and nonsense.

Advice flows, unsolicited, loud,

A public service, self-endowed.


One child? “Only one?” they sigh.

Two? “Better - but why not for more - you try?”

Three? “It’ll all work out somehow.”

Wonderful - so would you be parenting now?


Sunday, December 7, 2025

Homebound: A Story that unravels the labels we never chose!

So I watched the movie Homebound and it made me think, more than I actually want to. Neeraj Ghaywan the maker of Masaan did a fantastic job in making this well balanced tale of friendship, religion or caste, class discriminations, poverty, unemployment struggles, and crushed dreams. It is tender and soul crushing - the film received huge praises and was selected for Oscar entry from India which feels absolutely justified! The film holds mirror to multiple aspects of a downtrodden life - which often are unseen or just casually dismissed by a much blessed crowd.

There isn’t much I can add about the movie that hasn’t already been said, but what it reflected back at me were echoes of my own past and present. I am a Muslim and my label is reminded to me time and again sometimes without any rhyme or reason. It's not an exaggeration if I say - that for atleast 30-40% of public around me, we are still aliens with ancestry else where ( Turkey , Arab, etc) and they feel that we enjoy the luxuries here, where as our roots are not from here. People point to 1000 - 1500 year old invaders from Moghul dynasties etc and it's hilarious that some hold the grudge even now. Sometimes I jokingly say , in the tangled historical tree - I may very well be having a Brahmin great grand father or a Christian Uncle. Who knows how mixed our genetics are by now? But some people love tracing back the ancestry and stamping some unnecessary labels. The funniest and most outrageous is the Pakistani label. It boils my blood when friends and foes alike jokingly say that I am From Pakistan or if I know any from there....or question me why there is much Islamic terrorism - as if I hold the answers?

I wanna scream and say "Bro I know as much as you know...and I am an Indian national damnit!" But over the time it became so casual and so continuous that may be I learned to push it away or just swallow it. I will share some real life incidents which happened amongst groups of very well educated, broad minded and scholastic individuals !

source : here

Lumbini park terror attack incident in August 2007

On a fateful evening of 2007 ( I newly joined job then) , a dual attack happened in Hyd. 100s of people died in the bomb blasts happened at the historic famous Gokul chat and Lumbini park. I myself was shopping in an area called Koti, where the famous Gokul chat is - while that blast happened. Seeing sudden mayhem, we didnt understand. Our stars aligned that day and we were not near the Gokul chat and were almost returning home, when that terror attack happened.

Following that, may be its first time in my life after 9/11 - may be as it is home ground and my city - that I heard many many talks in office, in bus stops, at the water cooler, during lunch hours etc. etc. - that how Muslims are becoming a threat with each day and that you can trust none! And one random Friday when I was in my cubicle, couple of people passing by me - one among them being someone who strongly loathes Muslims started saying, "What is this yaar, every Friday we have to be scared of a terror attack. These people plan attacks on their holy days!" Needless to say it broke my heart, just like how Shoaib's heart breaks during a dinner party  - when the bully asks him if he can check the authenticity of a Lahore's cuisine - a kebab (Lahore is place in Pakistan). Shoaib ( Ishaan Khatter) would be resisting his anger ( and he gets harassed multiple times even before that - sometimes purposely , at times in the disguise of fun), but his limits get pushed by the bully when he also hints that Shoaib is sad as Pakistan lost the match! That's when he finally snaps. I can't really tell how many times I was in Shoaib's shoes in multiple scenarios. 

I lost count of how many times, I may have ignored the taunts or casual jokes - like once some one seemingly a friend asked me - "Afshan - do u know any hiding in Charminar or Tolichowki ( hyd area) who prepares bombs - may be we can place it under managers car. hahahaha", and everyone guffawed. I was young and I managed an awkward chuckle as I was not sure how to retort. I think the problem arises, when rest all chime in or stay indifferent! When you don't show solidarity and are apathetic to these things, you are part of the problem too - how much ever u deny it! If some one is painting extremists and normal folks with same brush, I strongly believe it is our duty to call out - to talk, to discuss or just explain the after effects in all its rawness like how Neeraj did in the movie!

It's not an exaggeration if I say that due to my label, I was not preferred in certain interview of a famous company...It is also not an exaggeration If I say that I had to restrict or block many people specially in the past decade due to their religious chauvinism and derogatory remarks on other's/my religion. I hate to be defined by any religion but for many extremists that's the primary recognition of a person. Wish they could watch a movie this beautiful where friendships blossom irrespective of the religion! 

There are innumerable happenings in my life where I lost people to this religious bigotry... Recent was during the Pahalgam terror attack , seeing some posts - I had to remove or restrict them...and seeing my strong questioning or arguments some removed or blocked me on social platforms :) 

Cut to 17 years later (2024) : My Daughter’s First Encounter

My daughter in her grade 1 - a mere 6-7 years old girl who is in school, where friends don't have any religion and wear the same uniform, gets inquired about her religion in the rest room during her recess period by a random girl (not using any names or giving away identities) 

Random girl : "What religion are you?"

Zaara: " I am a Muslim"

Random girl : "Oh! You should be in Pakistan I believe . Why are u here?"

Z: "What do u mean? I am an Indian"

RG :" No you Muslims should move to Pakistan." 

To this Zaara replied that she is from India and that it's not good to get questioned like that.

Just imagine a squishy soft brain of a child who has only started to learn spellings, has absorbed all this from somewhere . It could be parents, fellow friends , Neighbors or bus friends, but the girl quite unapologetically questioned my daughter this. Just imagine the foundation on which the girl is building her bonds in school? That's how segregation and categorization starts early on and people pick their sides...and million questions buzz even in a small child's brain!

Zaara came back home and seeing her many questions about Pakistan, I asked her why she is curious all of a sudden - then she told about this particular girl - how she asked such questions 2-3 times already. It took all my energy to explain to Zaara that Pakistan also has people like us...and that she is as much Indian as her friend. I highlighted the issue to class teacher and the girl who questioned Z was explained about right and wrong.

As it's a reasonably good school and has integrity in its core and has no religious aspects or preferences - my complaint worked. Now think about those many schools and the incidents which are coming in to light - where a clear discrimination is shown based on religion, where many mishaps are happening on and off. I don't want to share all the news items and make this a morbid post...but I am highlighting this to make people think and PLEAD them to not destroy unpolluted brains/ minds of your children. They are our only hope!

Sunday, October 19, 2025

Daughter's Wisdom Nuggets - 3

Whatever we talk about often gets absorbed by our kids’ sponge-like brains. I’m most of times unknowingly chatting about weight, diet, exercise, or some neck or foot sprain and naturally, that’s what my daughter catches on to. She knows that’s one of my frequent topics.

Today morning, feeling a bit displeased with myself, I asked her,

“Zaara, do you think I’ve gained weight in the last couple of weeks?”

She gave me a slow scan tip to toe and went, “Hmmmm…”๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚

With my best sad puppy face, I sighed, “Okay, okay! I know, I know! Holidays and all that festive eating didn’t help me.”

Without missing a beat, she said, “It’s okay, Ma. In science we learned about animal adaptations, right? This little bit of fat you gained is just like a polar bear’s blubber. Even I gained some!”

Amused and curious, I asked, “Really? What do you mean?”

She grinned, “It’s a protective layer of fat that  keeps you warm in the cold winter ❄️๐Ÿ˜‚ and gives warmth to your young one - that’s me!” Then she wrapped me in a big bear hug ๐Ÿฅน๐Ÿ’ž

“Wow,” I laughed. “That’s an interesting perspective!”

She nodded confidently, “Ya, Ma! You do so much. By summer, like by March, you’ll be all nimble and sharp again, like a fox! Maybe an arctic fox!”

In total awe, I tried to give her a kiss, but she dodged my “kiss attack” and ran off as usual! ๐Ÿ˜„

Honestly, kids are the best critics and the most loving ones too. Their feedback may sound at times frank or funny, but it’s filled with warmth, honesty, and pure affection. I felt so loved in that moment and felt like the most beautiful woman in the world! ❤️

It’s the holiday season in India now starting with Dussehra, followed by Diwali ๐Ÿช” tomorrow, and soon the festive cheer of Christmas. With all these celebrations (and endless delicacies!), it’s hard not to indulge. ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ’•

But as my daughter said - a little “blubber” is fine! With some hard work and self-care, we’ll all be nimble foxes again soon. ๐ŸฆŠ


Wishing everyone a Happy Diwali and a joyful festive season! ๐Ÿฅณ

May you receive all that’s best for you - health, happiness, and love. ๐Ÿ’ซ

Friday, August 15, 2025

Daughter's Wisdom Nuggets - 2

An yet another dining table conversation...


Me in all my brooding avatar after discussing some events...

Me : "Zaara don't be so attached to teachers or fella classmates. Years change and your sections also change. You must go with the flow!"

Z : "But why should I not get attached. At times I may find a favorite person in the process, with whom I would love to talk more..."

Me little surprised: "Ya, you will find such, but is there any recent favorite person!"

Z: "Ya , my grade 3 teacher . I meet her in every snacks period!"

Me : Really?!

Z: Ya , I still meet her. We talk. One day she asked me , how's your grade 4 Zaara. I said , "Mam!Busy, suffocating mammm!"

Me: wow, then?!๐Ÿ˜…

Z: She laughed and said, tell me about it Zaara and we chatted away.

Me: So you guys talk like friends now then!?

Z: Ya. She is not my class teacher, so we talk more now.

Me: So you feel good then!?

Z: Not just good maa! It feels fresh, a new feeling....like how you finish a book and start a new one, or how you end a lesson and start a new lesson, I feel that refreshing!!!


I WAS MIND BLOWN AND COMPLETELY SHOCKED TO SAY THE LEAST! I didn't want to amend her thoughts or add my thoughts. I just let that be...

It feels like it is not me who is teaching, but my always talkative ๐Ÿฆœ kid is teaching me - more about relations, friends, or emotions !

Uhh! Freedom of Speech and Expression - what a beautiful freedom to have and exercise, isn't it?!! And a child reflects it every once in a while and makes us realise how to beautifully yet nonchalantly execute it!

Today is 78th Independence day for India ( India became independent on Aug 15th 1947, ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ) - Happy Independence day. A plea to all to have the sense and sensibilities to recognise and understand the differences between patriotism and hyper nationalism!⛓️‍๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐Ÿ•Š️

Daughter's Wisdom Nuggets - 4

Somewhere between thinking about war, the economy, job uncertainty… and what to make for dinner, checking school diary notes, deciding betwe...