The Pensive

Dear Zaara, I am writing this letter just to preserve my feelings for you right at this moment. I am sure a mother's love cannot be explained in a manner which can be understood easily! Most of the times I know I am the bad cop at home and you don't like me teaching punctuality or discipline to you, you don't want me to make you sit to do homework, to force you to eat food, and to not allow to play 24*7...but in this letter I just am trying to say what you mean to me and how I feel. The day I felt a part of my soul reunited with me to make me feel life like is, 10-02-2017. When you screamed in the labour room at about 11:10 p.m. after an ordeal of a whole day ( the day started at 3 a.m. 😪)I was relieved! At that moment I was only happy that I was out of pain and and for some reason I was feeling I would have a boy, so when doctors declared that it's a baby girl, my enthusiasm dampened. Don't glare at me🤬. I know everyone who is reading this would frown! The only r...

On April 9th, my daughter Zaara had her graduation day! After virtually looking at each other in rectangular boxes for 2 years , it was finally the time to meet in real. The kids and parents were equally excited. I was curious to see and meet everyone in person (after all I attended all the classes). When I entered school, everyone (staff and kids) looked gorgeous in real, was my instant feeling!😀Zaara woke up for the first time early in morning and got ready with out Alexa reminding her ( yes at our home we keep many reminders in Alexa to make Zaara do her works...after 5 min for milk, after 10 min homework so on. She finds fun in it.. I find my patience dwindling with all waiting!! ).  Anyhow today I wanna share the glimpses of the big milestone - the completion of preschool! We were welcomed with a happy décor. Kids were in great spirits, perked up to meet their friends! I want to write on how they bonded even if the classes were virtual but maybe after the challenge! As soon ...

Dec 22, 2019 Xanadu Space Ship " MISSION EARTH initiated. I repeat Mission Earth initiated!" was the loud announcement all over the space ship. In the space ship, the commander in chief of the Xanadian force, Sir. Gamma Delton called for the daily stand up meeting. "So Mr. Omega. What's the status? How are we with this mission?" "So far so good sir. We would enter the Earth exactly in 3 months from now. They don't have the infantries or suitable weaponry to fight us back, so mostly they would surrender!" "What are the chances to establish our territories at all the planned locations on Earth?" source : here "We have fair chances sir. This is the right time to occupy. They are fighting among themselves for many centuries now and in recent past, politicians are instilling more and more hatred in the earthlings!" "Hope you have done good amount of research before you declare in such a final tone!" "Yes sir! I heard ...

WhatsApp - who doesn't know this name? And who doesn't use it. Except in countries, where it is banned (like China, North Korea, UAE), everywhere else people use WhatsApp profusely! What'sApp became akin to our morning rituals like brushing teeth, reading news, exercising etc. From milk vendor to millionaire every one is using it. It is not an exaggeration if I say my day starts and ends with WhatsApp. Throughout Covid and even now I am in touch with friends, family only and only through WhatsApp. One of my friends kept a WhatsApp status long back - I am not using WhatsApp, WhatsApp is using me 🙂🙂 - at times it becomes true if we lose track of time! I want to list few pros and cons of WhatsApp in this post. Pros of WhatsApp Usage WhatsApp connected me with friends all over the globe. It helped in rapid exchange of information and memories. In Covid,  WhatsApp was very helpful to find and contact plasma donors, to know about hospital vacancies, food providers, COVID RTPCR ...

Heart does what the heart does. How many of us believe in this ? Well, whether you believe or not, your actions which involve your heart are always fulfilling. But, in today’s world we are moving in a direction in which everything we do is becoming more and more machine like, monitored, controlled, patterned, and life itself is becoming a mechanical process. Right from the time we wake up in morning till we fall asleep, we are not driven by the desires of heart but by the monotonicity of the day. In the humdrum of life we are ever forgetting what really our heart wants? We never ask that question!! As soon as we open our eyes to a new and wonderful day, instead of appreciating and thanking our life, we mechanically scroll through our mobile screens, do our morning chores in anxiety- to which we are used to, we gobble down our breakfast and travel the traffic filled crowded roads to reach offices just in time. We work all day, return home exhausted , have dinner and go back to bed, lyin...

T oday I want to just write a Thank you note to all the fellow bloggers who are constantly visiting my blog and reading all my posts which are not quick or easy reads! Writing short and smart posts is a unique talent which I don't have. I have been always reprimanded by my teachers for my lengthy writing. Whenever I write a huge essay - my ma'am would be happy that I did so much research, nevertheless she used to advise to not strain myself during examinations👀. A2Z is no less than an exam 😆. Anyway without drifting away I want to convey  thank you from the bottom of my heart for visiting regularly, reading, encouraging me with your genuine comments! I am not taking names of all the blogs/bloggers but thanks to one and all. It is not easy to write, read others, and to respond to comments! Some have done it all. I never replied to comments. I intend to do so soon after the challenge. Due to time crunch I read the comments and I make sure that I visit all your blogs and it has...

S.P. Balasubrahmanyam aka SPB or Balu is a predominant play back singer in India, who had been singing since ages majorly in Telugu, Tamil, Kannada, Hindi and Malayalam films. My heart refuses to refer to him in past tense. His death is one of the many shocking deaths during COVID to me. S.P. Balu's voice has that magic to please you, tease you and lift your spirits in no time, or just make you sad in a matter of seconds. He reigned the Tollywood  for many decades and I remember listening to him even before I knew much about movies, music or songs! Not just singing , he also does dubbing, mimicry and has acted in many notable films. I realized he has great acting skills too - He acted as dad, as a supporting actor (guest appearance) and also as a main lead in some of the movies. Breathless singing by SPB - from a movie "O papa Lali" Among his many movies, some thing I recently watched after his demise - Mithunam  stole my heart. I was in tears by the end of the movie bot...

RRR is the latest movie by Rajamouli which I watched some days back. It was a historic moment for me, not because the movie is of fictional history genre, but because I sat in a cinema hall after 2+ years of COVID life!💛😊 The movie shows the pre independence era of 1920s and the story is a fictional account of lives of two real freedom fighters  Alluri Seetharama Raju (Ram Charan) and Komaram Bheem (NTR) who have same same but different missions. If I write an honest review, I really can't decide if I liked or disliked the movie. There are few bits I liked and few which felt too much over the top for me. May be it is just the outlandish style of Rajamouli. He is well acquainted with grandeur and cinematic brilliance....however just these are not enough to entice everyone is what I felt. The movie had its grand moments. It was a feast to eyes to see so much action executed with ease and great VFX effects! You would enjoy it if you completely 'suspend your disbelief'. 😯...

After dodging the Covid variants for almost 2 years, I finally fell prey to it in the month of January 2022. Just after the pongal festival in South India where we all had a fun 3 days long weekend, the cases soar high and even I contracted during that time. At first my daughter tested positive and I was actually too nervous as kids are not vaccinated. Our doctor was in quite jovial mood because she felt everyone was getting the Omicron variant and the impact won't be serious. She eased us but I still was panicky. Even if we didn't test positive yet, she said we soon will and asked us to isolate for ten days! Immediate step was to inform maid and our cook to not come. I only felt it natural to inform the apartment mates, even if maids would have spread the happy news😅. I was actually eager to update my fb and WhatsApp status informing the same. It almost felt like not being the odd ones out! I updated and as expected the concerns poured in... Here's the catch! Every one wa...

Schooling now a days is like an investment. You invest lakhs of money, stay nervous about the child's development and expect a ROI. However during my days, schooling was neither expensive nor a marathon to run. We learnt and studied peacefully. We didn't have extra classes, transitions, tuitions or surprise tests but we did well with whatever resources we had! I completed my education in a Govt School with meagre facilities but enjoyed the school years to the fullest!  I was a good student in school and I even secured district 1st in 7th standard board exams....I used to win in many essay writing or elocution contests. I was one of the bright students or so I as told by my teachers! Today on my daughter's blog I want to just share a small incident from my school life. Our school always had surprise inspections by DEO (district education officer) or collectors or some other VIPs who want to come check the students' capabilities and the teachers' abilities to teach th...

Oh! So boring! To live in confines of four walls. Closed are restaurants, theatres, closed are the malls! As we cribbed, felt mundane and exasperated by the sudden shift in scene There were few humans who struggled to save us from the demonic Covid 19! If soldiers fought at the borders, the frontline workers fought to put us within borders! To put life at stake for the sake of others lives, they were no less than warriors! Without caring for their families, they worked day and night... As we munched and binge watched Netflix, they continued their fight! Even the laathi charge of Police didn't instill fear in all. The Lockdown was a break for some, a time to plan a trip with a pal. Tiny tots understood and tried adjusting to the new routine - a reality that many adults dismissed! For some, the picture became clear when one after the other, many succumbed. For many it still is all a hoax, unnecessary panic created by ulterior groups! Getting exposed to virus is a myth to them, as the...

Netflix became an integral part of my life specially during Covid. I can't thank OTT platforms enough for being the much needed outlets during this new normal. There are many platforms but Netflix is smooth and the best! Even if it feels like there is an entire day to myself if I subtract working hours , daughter hours and other miscellaneous hours - I get very less time to explore new series, movies which continuously are getting streamed on OTT platforms. I love going back to 90s and early 2000s timeline and watch reruns of some favorite shows and series. They act as stress busters to me during tough days. In my post today I recommend my three fav sitcoms/series and have written a blurb for each.  FRIENDS (Created by  David Crane  and  Marta Kauffman ) I never gave Friends a chance and when I finally gave it , I regretted just after two episodes thinking how come I missed it all these decades. In school days I was little when it got relayed and may not have underst...

This is the only book I read during Covid. I some how couldn't manage finishing it in a period close to 2 years. Yes that's how my reading habit deteriorated but I managed to finish reading this book recently. This is the only book I read about life in Nazi Concentration camps. The book in a very balanced tone explains the living conditions of people, suffering, the psychology, understanding their mind, logotherapy and so on. The entire premise of the book revolves around the fact - " “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” I am glad I picked this book during Covid - a crisis time, when a will to be active and be happy was actually quite less (funnily this is the reason I couldn't finish the book all these days). As I understood the atrocities of the Nazi camp during WWII, I felt a kind of shame that I can do better than what I was doing.  Victor Frankl himself is a neurologist, psychiatrist and a holocaust survivor - hence his analysis and t...

At first when it started, precisely on March 22, 2020 - it was all fun. "Staying at home and working! Is this happening for real?" I wondered. "A virus outbreak - so what? It cant spread that quickly as the patients would be quarantined!" - is what I thought. When lockdown was announced, I felt glad that there won't be run of the mill activities at home. I can be at home, avoid travel, and work at my own pace. Little did I know the gravity of Corona life or impact of lockdown then.  When my 3+ year old daughter threw the acrylic paint on the bed and started making many modern arts on the walls - I realised that the " LOCKDOWN " is for everyone and every thing and I need to be equipped to deal with it all. In a desperate attempt to shoo the corona away, I too banged the thali (we banged plates, lit the lamps and performed many other tricks)… but Corona was not a sneaky cat to be shooed. It is a stealthy parasite that was as monstrous as the dementor , ...

When I did schooling, preschool was termed as lower and upper Kindergarten. When people were saying PP1 and PP2 in my daughter's school, I was clueless at first. I later realised that PP means Pre Primary and they are equivalent to LKG and UKG! She joined play group at the age of 2.2 and after almost an year, the pandemic hit. In initial months I didn't even think about her schooling. As we entered June and when we realized corona is here to stay, it slowly started sinking that schooling would be online. "What a disaster it is to get started with  her actual academics online!!?!" I thought. I work as a technical writer...and my job demands lot of time, meetings, coordination and, writing of course! All the mentioned activities need my vigilance and utmost concentration. In the online school set-up I had to dedicate myself for 2 plus hours every day to sit along with daughter, make her get used to that mode of teaching and most of the times actually teach her. Kids of ...

The rooster 🐓 croons, 🐦 pigeon coos and the sparrow c hirps! Oh! It's another day... what day is it? And what may be the date? I neither can track the time, nor can I track the weeks! The months come one after the other as I put up chunks of fat in my cheeks! "Do I have to wake up?" was the uncertainty I had on most of the days! Just to get on with the day, I needed to invent so many ways... " Wake up mamma! I need choco milk," echoes a booming voice. Reluctantly I get up, remembering my 9-5 job that pays! source : here Milk tumbler in a hand, tea in another. I tend to the daughter who manages to be " The Flash !" As the washing machine vibrates, making the racket of a sound... I suddenly get a thought to write...something very profound! But I haven't written in ages. The blog with all drafts, is buried in the ground! As I start working, I hear a shrilly cry in my ear. I say sorry and mute my conference call, only to learn - her painting page had...

I was never really a fan of Instagram when it first started. I was a novice who didn't even knew what to do or write there. I remember someone tutoring me in mid of 2012 about how to use hashtags and how I can tag, checkin the location etc. I used to upload flowers, tourist spots I visited, cooking pics and such once in a blue moon when I was in Delhi after my wedding! Just the day before I entered labor, I vividly remember uploading a pic of mom and me just reviving the memories.  Pic I uploaded before my delivery day Little did I know that I was gonna deliver the next day. Once I had Zaara, Instagram worked for me as a great platform to upload all her snapshots, record her memories, milestones and much more! However I made my account private as a safety measure. I feel to have the space for myself and few friends! Even now when ever I am little stressed I love browsing through my own Instagram page. It makes me feel the troubles are worth it and the events I could log there are m...

I love watching horror movies even if I put that pillow over my eyes, pinch a person sitting next to me or myself but I just make sure I watch them. It is all exciting when I watch them but in a later point of time when I have to be alone at home, it scares the hell out of me. Every moment feels eerie and suspicious. Following are few real life moments I faced which made me think that may be ghosts/spirits exist! Scene 1: I call my physiotherapist whenever my cervical pain shoots up...We know each other from many years and naturally we end up chatting a lot. She was/is my savior during miserable pain episodes specially in COVID times. Anyhow in the second guest bed room where I work, I  hear a faint rocking chair noise coming from the walls once in a while. It's quite a hollow noise as if an old swinging chair is being used. I ignored many times and we even had a discussion in apartment WhatsApp group to understand what it is...but everyone said they can't hear the sound. My hu...