Ten Things of Thankful- My Debut Post :)

There is always some thing in life to be thankful about and it is almost a necessity to stop and count your blessings and thank your stars. Today I was reading a post by my blogger friend Dyanne Vinyard Dillon --  The Birthday Edition and felt I should actually give this prompt a try! Lately I am not myself due to many personal challenges which keep pulling me down. I climb up and try to remain sane but sometimes the challenges and worries over power me. All of a sudden yesterday I felt I should actually be thankful about many things in life. So am I here with my début post for Ten things of Thankful. My list goes like below for this week

I feel Thankful.....

1.) About  the fact that I am working. I have been struggling for a job during my break which was in 2012. I did not work for more than an year and I never really liked what I was doing till then. Then after a long career gap I shifted gears and became a full pledged Technical Writer. As writing has always been my passion, I felt like I found my true calling but mind you however true the calling is, it always has some inbuilt challenges. When I say I am technical writer, people exclaim , "Oh ! Does it mean , You just sit and write!" How cool. But it is not just that. It has much more to that but a post on some other day about my professional hiccups and my love for my job. I Thank God for making me capable of getting what  I want!

2.) For the books I get to read  It is truly said that books are the best of friends. I thank Yann Martel for writing the gem of a book - "Life of Pi." This book has been a great learning experience so far. My Thankful post will be incomplete with out it coz the entire book covers the essence of being thankful about so many things. I am simply relishing each and every word written in it

Image source : here

3.)  For the man in my life , for his patience and calmness I feel thankful. It would have been a riot if we both had same amount of emotional upheaval or intense mood swings. We do fall apart at times but patching up just happens. I feel more thankful whenever I come across many men who are jerks or whenever I hear complicated stories about them!

4.) For my friend Kalluri Hema . There are other friends too with whom I talk but it is not the same. I feel liberated when I speak to her, heart to heart even if I am in India and she is in London. I can talk anything and everything to her. As some complicated emotions were doing parade on my mind she came to my rescue and I just felt a lakh times better than before. We are like Carrie Bradshaw  and Miranda Hobbes of Sex and the City. I wish there were 2-3 more people to complete the group! We have common childhood memories and silly jokes to discuss and laugh every time like it is the first time! I thank God for all those long lasting friends with whom we can open up and Hema needless to say I love U :)

Yep. The more I think the more I feel it's us. Image sources are this and this

5.) For the Retail therapy. It is truly said that those who cant find happiness in money didn't know where and what to shop. I was hoping to buy statement necklaces from many days. I saw a friend getting them from ebay but the shopping procedure just seemed complex there. Finally I found two gorgeous pieces on Limeroad.com. The joy of buying some thing for youself is priceless. Now I am waiting for an occasion to wear any of them

one of the purchases

6.) For finally ticking off a long standing wish on my bucket list - To watch movie all alone. Yesterday on the fly I decided I should go to movie alone. Sometimes you don't have a proper company to do stuff and at times the people who can accompany you are too busy or occupied with their own things. So I thought to do my own thing and went to a movie of one of my favorite actors and totally loved the experience. Infact the movie watch felt much better as I could laugh loud and examine different elements in the cinema with out any disturbance!

7.) For the appreciation I got at my work place that I am doing a great job and they are impressed by the dedication I show at work :) I was not liking many things linked to work but this single compliment reduced the intensity of dislike and I felt rejuvenated.

8.) For the heavy rain today. Rains have an instant power of bringing me in good mood and mum's garden seemed magical after getting wet in rain. Shared below are the rain snapshots. Rain lightened my head if only temporarily!

9.) For my smart phone and the imo.im app , Google hangout, skype or any thing in it which makes video calls possible with my husband who is in Belgium. Thank God for  smart phones and apps. Life feels much better& people feel near though are far.

10.) Lastly I feel thankful for the Ten Things Of Thankful prompt which made me dust my blog and write some thing positive on it after so long. This is a wonderful initiative which made me realise we all have our share of problems and it is important to count the happy moments once in a while how ever small or big they may be!

Click on the image to know more

This is my first #10Thankful post . The hosts for this cool initiative are A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Amycake and the Dude, Considerings, Finding Ninee, Getting Literal,I Want Backsies, The Meaning of Me, Thankful Me, Uncharted, The Wakefield Doctrine

If you want to add your blog post link for the prompt, do it here!

"Midnight musings"

What if you want something which is not in your reach?
What if you try for it day and night and end in plight!
What if having fun some times feels like a herculean task,
What if in your own company & competition you wanna bask?

Why does a friend in need feel like a friend indeed?
What do you do when a false friend is around, to be freed?!
Why do we want to always sow the love seed?
Why is it as an after math our hearts always bleed!?

Who is the one always dancing in front of your eyes?
Who is the one who says bye and makes you cry?
Who is the one who made your heart his home..
Who is the one whom you consider the love epitome?❤ ❤

When is the last time you did an adventure ?
When is the last time you relished every element of nature
When did you smile and talk endlessly anything and everything?
When did you lighten your heart by saying or doing something?

How do you want your life to be?
Do you want to live and settle behind the boundaries of convenience ?
Do you want to push the limits and move the rocks and the mountains?
Do you want to live the ONE life God gifted you fully?
Or do you want to live others' life and make it a folly ?

Think think think . Think when you talk, think when u see and think when you blink.
Think till you get answers to the questions dangling in front of you before reaching the brink!
Think think think . Think before it gets too  late.
Think before you blame it all on your misfortune or fate!

PS: Sleeplessness , a fb post on introverts , some Calvin and Hobbes forward & certain random thoughts gave rise to this midnight musing 
Thanks!

When Feminism makes NO SENSE !

Two or three months back I came across an image on Womens' era facebook page which read like below. I forgot to save the actual image and as I am unable to search the source image, I made one myself with the content I saw which was questionable at many levels!

 When feminism is given a miserable twist, it gives rise to thoughts like above. I understand this is directed at men who think of themselves as superior and who think they do all favors for women, but many mad women take this as a chance to bash their men for no reason. I want to analyze each and every element of this image which was shared by someone whom I know too very well and who doesn't deserve to share this image at all. This post may seem like a personal rant but I want to talk by and large to a greater mass of people! 

Let us start with the first line of the image - A lot of men act like they are doing a woman a favor by asking for her hand---I don't deny the fact that we have misogynistic men around us who think they can control past present and future of their and even others' women! But saying that A LOT of men think like that is an absolute blunder. If a lot of men thought like that, on the present day we won't have majority of working women around us whose husbands encourage them to do it and many I know, share the household duties with wife. If they can't cook they atleast try helping by cutting veggies or by being part of other household activities! If a lot of men thought like that there will be no happiness left in the total arranged (or) love marriage scenario. If a lot of men thought like that there won't be a lot of women who happily breathe the air of freedom after marriage at least among your friends and families (keep aside the stray cases here) ! I always feel such messages give rise to more men who think or want to act like that, who actually were not like that earlier.

She changes her name, changes her home, leaves her family, moves in with you, builds a home with you, --- now this is the only part of the message with which I didn’t have much issue! Thank God the words with you are used here which highlights a sense of togetherness when compared to the rest of the message. Yes, she does change her name, home, family and moves in with husband but between the lines it is reading as – She is doing all this just for his sake. I don’t deny the fact that some people get married irrespective of their wishes, some can stick to the marriage and some walk out of it. Some have badass husbands, who make the wife’s life hell but some also have devilish wives who ruin the husband’s relations with everyone else. Keeping aside the bad / good or arranged/ love marriage scenario aside, when a girl changes her name does she recollect that she acquired her dad’s name?  I am not saying it is A MUST TO CHANGE initials. How many of you change your name in passports, other  id proofs, offices or anywhere else post marriage? Everywhere the girl is addressed by her maternal name. Very less people actually change the name after wedding. Officially she is the same and it all depends on your choice, whether or not you want to embed husband’s initials to your name. Why is every sentence in this image written to sound like the girl’s life is pathetic and burdened?  She ofcourse undergoes a major transition. Who doesn’t? It is not a cake walk for a boy who becomes a husband. I have seen and heard stories of men who have broken ties with their parents/ siblings just to keep their wives satisfied and happy. They continue the marriage which has too many potholes and bumps just for the sake of the society and they also tolerate and take shit from her every day just like she does in a scenario where husband has all these qualities!

"gets pregnant for you, pregnancy changes her body, she gets fat, almost gives up in the labor room due to the unbearable pains of child birth,even the kids she delivers bear your name."

The above line is wrong at so many levels. Is pregnancy a task , a project which has to fulfilled for a certain client, who is husband in this case ? How can some one get pregnant for some one else? It is a mutual decision and should be taken up only when both have a consensus on having a baby ! It is not like, a mother scarifies for the father by bearing a baby. If she is bearing a baby only for the man then the child is the property which only he owns. I am sure this holds totally wrong if it is targeted at a phylogynistic  (non-misogynistic) person. No one will deny the pain a woman goes through in the labor room or the health issues she has to face through out her life. A mother obviously is the most important person in every one's life!  A father even if  he doesn't carry the baby in the womb, is equally attached to the kid. His emotional attachment is even unique as he doesn't have any umbilical cord connection with a kid. It is not like he Vs her here. They both have created a baby and no one is doing any one a favor. If any of them feels it is a favor then he/she clearly doesn't deserve to be a parent.

How many of you are happy / sad or neutral about getting your name from your father? If daddy is a superhero to a girl and if she is feeling proud about the traits and name she got from her father and still feels her kid bearing her husbands' name is not justified then I would ask her to drive a movement and change her name and every ones' names in her family. Anyway who is changing names these days? Keeping aside Facebook where people update their surname just to announce that they are married (even this is done ONLY if he/she is socially active), I don't see any other place where the surname and identity of a woman get changed.

My password , pan card, office email id , my name every where else is the name I am given since birth. I never gave a thought on changing it and neither did my husband. People who have liberty to decide, spreading this message is sheer idiot-ism.

Till the day she dies...everything she does, (cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you.....sometimes at the cost of her own health , hobbies and beauty.

A woman of course is a super power. She does what all is mentioned above .A BIG YES to it but on the present day and date , there are many career oriented women around us who share the duties with husband . Woman is very good at multi tasking and raising children comes naturally to many  but I am not comfortable with the repetitive usage of your in this content! What does it mean by your children and everything which benefits you? Is marriage not about our children and our benefits? If the debate of who is benefiting by what and who is sacrificing more starts then that marriage for sure has gone to toss! It is agreed women sacrifice their health , hobbies and desires at times to meet the demands of the house and many a times they end up sacrificing more than men. But the present generation women should question themselves (who are in 20s and 30s and are not living in a misogynistic family), if this is actually true?  I am sure many women around are educated and are working and in no way feel inferior to their spouses. These young women who have a messed up mind and demand too much self pity think that they are doing a favor to their men by just entering in their lives! All in all this post seemed to succeed in damaging the thought process of many who are absolutely leading a normal life with zero sacrifices but still imbibe too much self-pity and self-importance due to messages like these. I don’t deny the fact that men fail to understand the actual “woman” issues starting from the trials to conceive (which actually include him) , the 3 days of every month which take her to the verge of madness almost every time and the entire gestation period, labor pain and pregnancy where she has a re-birth but I cannot accept the fact that most of the men undermine women. I have come across many sensitive men in my life, in my family and among friends who respect women for what they are!!

It is not easy being a woman. It is priceless. YES . The last line of the post – “Sad that women don’t know their value,” is so darn true for some. Women who doesn’t know her value craves for self-pity, demands an unnatural high stature, thinks of herself as an expert in feminism bordering the chauvinism.

Image courtesy : here

Marriage goes to toss during the following scenarios

• When Man Vs Woman competition is an every day thing.
• When a man or a woman become calculative of their contribution and keep emphasizing on it frequently
• When a Woman feels she is superior every day and craves to display her superiority as she bears her man's kid (even writing this sentence feels stupid to me).
• When a man feels superior about his gender!
• When marriage becomes a contest and every situation is a battle to win and to satisfy egos
• When a man or a woman fails to appreciate the partner when situation demands and when a man or woman has demands to receive unstoppable appreciation!
• When a man (or) woman feels his/ her spouse should feel grateful because of his/her services
• When the basic thing called LOVE is lacking in their life
• When an irreparable damage is done to the egos by continuous caustic words bombarded at the partner

There can be many more reasons which mar the institution of marriage but to make and nurture a marriage the four must needed elements are love ,trust, respect and joy in each other’s company! When these four elements vanish one doesn’t have a strong reason to stick to that marriage, no matter what!

Note: I have written this post based on horrifying experiences friends and family around me are having, most of them are scenarios where husbands are sensitive and tormented by the whole girl’s side battalion. Men are sensitive too and can be absolutely passionate about their partners and spend time and effort for the wife’s joy and smiles but in recent past I came across few women who don’t deserve even an ounce of that attention, who  overthink and are bothered by some psychological disorder , think too high of themselves and throw false accuses at their husbands.

I know many couples in India who are bonded only because of kids or parents or social pressures and some even have conditional agreements of not seeing parents’ faces if they have to live together. The million dollar question is- “Are they all living happily”? It takes too many guts to come out of a failed relationship and start afresh. If you are one such person who could muster enough courage, I salute you!

My post might have been vague, starting from failed feminism to a failed marriage. Today I just had to pour my heart on blog as I am seeing my loved ones go through the pain and the pain is inflicted on me too.  A better post with well-structured and articulated thoughts some other time. For now adieu  !

I end this post with the below quotes!

The great C.S. Lewis says it for all of us! Image source : here

Wise words for this week. Source : here

"Piku" - It's all about Pee, Poo and Paa :)

It has been 3 months since I last dusted my blog and I choose poo, potty and pee as my come back topic ;) . Do not wrinkle your noses. Strangely the topic I am going to talk about is sweet , cute and heart warming.. Last Saturday I booked tickets for Piku after too many raving reviews and I must say I felt good, as I can't remember the last hindi movie which is worth my time in theater. Movies getting relayed on TV in 3months after the release and the fact that the finest print is readily available on torrent in no time, lessened my enthusiasm to go and watch every movie in theater. I am glad ,I made the decision of going to theatre to watch Piku because the fun-experience wouldn't have been half as good, if I watched it alone sitting on my couch at home!

 Story line and my Review:

Piku is a hilarious journey punctuated by too many loo breaks. We use the terms shit or pissed when we think of something disgusting but the shit or piss are projected in such a humorous manner here, that you will forget the unpleasant odors or memories associated with it and actually enjoy the Poo-dynamics. I am amused by Shoojit Sircar's  and Juhi Chaturvedi's  innovative skills. Only they can bring humor to the bodily secretions so neatly. Last time they made all of us smile broad, when they had dealt with semen & sperms in Vicky Donor. However this time the topic is much lighter as it is not something important which is coming out, still is discussed so often and is analyzed with such a high priority that it will make audience guffaw!

Image source: here

Bhaskor Banerjee's favorite topic anywhere any time is constipation and motion. He is an irritating character who can bring up the topic in an untimely manner on dining table, during a dinner date or even inform the status to his daughter Piku, when she is totally absorbed in office work. Amitabh Bachan is so befitting as Bhaskor Da . He reminds you of a common old man who is nosy, prickly, cranky, who can give stubborn responses to neighbors or pick fights and argue till he wins with maids or relatives and who is so astonishingly selfish and liberal, that he is OK if his daughter has casual sex but is not ready for her wedding as she might not be able to look after him. The director again portrays the modern and liberal thinking of Bengalis which is different from the thought process of stereotypic moms and dads who keep a tab on their kids' life’s events and happenings. The twisted views of Bhaskor on women-liberation and freedom will definitely make you laugh. His irritating, selfish demeanor slowly gets to you and you feel for the man and his emotions along with motions which he discusses with immense passion :) 

Piku- The name suits Deepika Padukone so well. It just feels like it is the shortcut of her original name - Deepika. The name adds that extra cuteness to the movie and the audience don't even feel the necessity to know the actual name of Bhaskar Banerjee's daughter Piku, as her other aspects like independent thinking and mental strength grab your attention. Piku patiently but loudly responds to his dad’s hollering and her unconditional motherly love towards him can be felt at every juncture. She is funny in her own way and is curt with her irritating 70 year old dad but still is a a loveable daughter who learns to be strong and she sure is an inspiration to all the daughters out there. At many points I felt emotional when I realized I never did my part for my parents at any point of my life till now. Deepika is at ease playing the role of Piku and not even a single time you get the whiff of artificiality in the movie!

The actual journey of Piku starts when Rana Chaudhary (played by Irrfan Khan) the owner of a taxi service company comes in between the dad - daughter duo. He drives them and their helper Bodhan, from Delhi (C.R. Park) To Kolkota. The humor quotient shoots up when Khan adds his trade mark comic skills to the movie. His quirky dialogues like for instance the telephonic conversation he has with Piku's boss and his friend- " ye baap beti to aise hi time pass karrahe hai. Mujhe to nai lagta inhe calcutta jaana bhi hai" will spice up the humour. His eyes speak more than his words and he has all your attention whenever he appears on the screen. Even if he is facing the brunt of father and daughter, he starts respecting Deepika for her patience and love towards her 70 year old Pain in the ass dad. He himself is bothered by his nagging mom and sister and looks up to Piku for what she is doing is no less than waging a war on battlefield according to him!

The story is slow and even the road trip doesn't pick up the pace but the viewer actually starts relishing the journey and the heart-heart conversations Piku and Rana have. The attention to detail skill of Shoojir Sircar is wonderful. The way Kolkota, delicious Bengali cuisine, Varanasi and Ganga ghat are projected is a treat to eyes. The chemistry between the trio is so natural and sizzling. Thanks to the director for not stressing on the romance between Piku and Rana and one cannot resist from smiling broad when Rana and Bhaskor bond over a commode and discuss the Poo-logics :) Needless to say the rest of the characters, Bodhan (the helper at home), Maushami Chatterjee ( Piku's maternal aunt) and Piku's other bua and her boss Jisshu Sengupta just blend in the story.

All in all Piku is an original, warm, fresh, quirky and a charismatic watch which will steal your heart. The ending can be predicted but it leaves the audience with warmth filled in their hearts. They can leave the theater happily humming the song- "Dheere chal na hai mushkil to jaldi hi sahi" - a song which refuses to leave my head.

Being a Muslim on a "Social" Network!

Dec 16th 2014- The black day. The flooded blood and the imaginary shrieks made me shudder. Just before that there was a Sydney Siege and 2 people got killed by a deranged man. I was just getting back to normal after inquiring about the safety of some of my Sydney friends . I had let out a sigh of relief when the deranged man Monis's act ended and when I knew it was not a terrorist attack,  but pretty soon after that, the terrorists attacked the Peshawar school , killing 140 + children which appalled me. I am a Muslim and like you all I was groping in the dark for solution. Due to some virtual experiences around me , neither #I'llridewithyou nor the #IndiawithPakistan relieved me  even if those acts highlighted the compassion some people actually have in their hearts!

Added  to that some Pakistanis blamed India for the attack when Talibanis themselves agreed that they are the people responsible for the attack in school, which agitated me a bit more. Like you all who belong to all other religions I was also trying to find the answers. Like you all , I was also trying to find a solution. I was worried that these A***holes quote Allahuakbar and recite Quran verses before killing.  Peoples' questions that why do Your folks not condemn ? why don't Muslim leaders raise voice ? why don't you raise voice  ? Why are you a coward ? - bothered me more . Why will any sane person support such act where there is blood shed ? I myself am nonplussed thinking why and what shit goes in to their brain which makes them nonchalantly do all this. Like always  I started brooding. What can be possibly done to uproot this ? To eradicate this? Yes I too want to get rid of the terrorists . Will I get that chance ? What can I possibly do by sitting in my safe haven ? 


I had a heated up argument with a lady when she had put up a long status, after the Peshawar attack, the gist of which is that many of the Muslims are indifferent and are cowards. Islamists are killers and they don't react to killings is the summary of her update. After losing my sleep for 3 days , after long discussions where I tried to explain to her how her status message can be misinterpreted, I un-friended her for my own mental peace but the hatred continued in fresh status messages where she totally spiced up and presented a contorted view of what I said and how I said and made her friends pray for my mental peace. I could only wish her get well soon. During this fiasco many people supported me irrespective of their religion but there were many who kept jumping the walls. Too many opinions and updates again did a parade on my mind and most of them who have put them up are authors, fairly educated folks and are very knowledgeable ,who in the other times say empathy is more important than a religion.  

Excerpts from her LONG status message after I deleted her on Facebook: "Just because we need to live in peace, does not mean we bury our heads in the sand like ostriches as if all is well. A Muslim friend of mine unfriended me on Facebook for a discussion over Islamist Terrorism. I generally always speak brutal, because I don't fancy any nonsense placating or playing victim. But it's a shame that she took my so-perceived hate tone as a reason to stop talking to me, rather than coming to the point and discussing Islamist Terrorism! LOL, now that's laughable, and I'm not even angry! I'm not mocking at her, may she continue to do well, but again taking this opportunity to make my point. 

I've always said "many/most Muslims are cowards" and not "all Muslims are cowards"! Muslims are not extra-terrestrial beings that they won't feel the pain of victims, yet only few Muslims stand up against Islamist Terrorism; most come up with these foolish excuses as if we are targeting them and their religion. Peace will prevail! I'm not angry, just laughing at how small-minded some are, and sharing the experience here, though it all ends up as if I'm bitching about her, but that's not my intention at all. Just because we need to live in peace, does not mean we bury our heads in the sand like ostriches as if all is well. " The purpose of my posts was to condemn Islamist Terrorism in the harshest of ways, and I'm glad ****** spoke up too, and somewhere Muslims and non-Muslims, who are not expressive about Islamist Terrorism, will also speak up and stop putting up a charade or timidly behaving like it does not effect them."

I failed to understand how her harsh ways towards all in general is going to resolve this global issue of terrorism and she failed to explain to me and give me a transparent picture as to how her arm chair activism is going to help ? Facebook during times of rage does bring out real intentions and ideas! I wonder if the same ideas will be disclosed or not when he / she has to do it face to face! It is a must to condemn terrorism and also the leaders who fuel it more rather than curbing it. It is alright to express anger as it is tough to suppress it. It is fine if you are violent and harsh towards extremists. It is justifiable but when you are doing what ever you want to, it will feel good if the act is not used as a reason to show the hidden hatred towards all Muslims ! The border lines between apathy , empathy and sympathy always vanish on social network.

I did not reply . I did not retort. I know angst is building up in many around me due to increasing fanaticism and due to the mere fact that 60% of the killings are due to Islamist terrorism. " I and many Muslims like me are suffering more due to relentless opinions, bashing and hidden hatred towards normal people like us. But we are helpless. Yes if you think your religion doesn't have killers and we are born with the tag to kill anyone and everyone then congratulations to you. Celebrate your religion and feel lucky . That is what you intend to say every time you put up a status update but next time when you put up such update just give one thought to people like me who are also painted by the same brush." -- I actually wanted to reply this but I couldn't as I felt I can no more face the wrathful tongue and project my vulnerable side to her!

I embraced my self to stay away from many on social media who were and are suggesting that- Many of us are merciless, ruthless and non-humans. My keeping quiet doesn't  mean I am with killers and taking it all easy . Many like me cry and our hearts bleed too.. My sincere request to all those who are furiously updating statuses and who are generalizing that we all are filthy is that they need not worry. Even if I am pissed off, upset and feeling distressed,  I am tolerant enough to not kill them. Unfortunately every time something like this happens, we are mostly silent as we have nothing to say. We are sad, terrorized , victimized and numb too. As many who literally live in a social n/w believe that the reliable source of condemnation is only the status updates  or online write ups I thought of writing this up. Those who kill are mentally deranged - YES and every time I see that some massacre happened somewhere I get scared of the tag more than "others". I get burdened more than "others" when I hear the motive they mention behind the killing is Allah or religion. I or people like me are more impacted and always suffer a lot .  We are burdened more than the others  as their actual motive is demeaning the religion and not avenging the prophet which they announce as the agenda.  But I will continue practicing my faiths. Yes we do have killers who say they follow the faith I follow. But I will continue believing in Allah, doing Namaz , reading Quran and reciting kalimas because that is what I learnt to do and will be doing  till I die or get killed. I am not myself from quite some time. After the Charlie Hebdo massacre I reminisced the actual sayings by prophet which my grandma used to narrate during Ramzan month and it made me cry!

I have unfollowed / unfriended many for my own peace. I felt if a person cannot be compassionate to others who just want to live and let live like he / she does and  feels unsafe and thinks that I might be one of "them" then it is better to stay away from him/her. That way  I can be at peace and he/she will have one killer less on the list !

Shared below are screen shots of status updates and some of my replies after which I confronted the lady saying when humanity has died million deaths I don't want directionless rage and negativity around me .

Her first status update. Save and zoom, if you can't read

My responses along with this post written during the Sydney Incident-Stop asking Muslims to condemn terrorism. It's bigoted and Islamophobic.

I reacted as this was not her first status message of this kind. I ignored so many times when she mocked, ridiculed or insulted. When she went in to technical and logical details I too waged a war on FB to put forward my thoughts [this was the first time I did something of this sort and I repented almost immediately] . She is not used to smooth talks so she was spitting and farting  in all directions but I tried to end on a peace note saying" your rage is good but during these times it will be better if you are slightly compassionate towards living as much as you are compassionate towards dead. Give your angst a proper direction and use your words wisely" I told. For that she has put up another outrageous update which is shared above (in blue font) that She is LOLing at my unfriending act and that some people are irreparable and she conducted mass prayers on FB for my mental illness saying people like me play wonderful roles of victims and want sympathy and nothing else. I was disturbed for a week and then I blocked her.

Charlie Hebdo was indeed a sad incident. Humanity died million deaths after kids were killed in Gaza and Peshawar. Any kind of killing which is done by humans is a blot on mankind and makes me question almighty's existence. Any kind of killing cannot be justified. It troubles me that the barbaric act of terrorism is multiplying with each passing day and when people die you lose hope on life but some people do increase  hope by proving that even in the harshest circumstances, the religion of humanity will be alive. Thanks to Roshan for penning this post-  The world is not a bad place. 

 The scenario is not like the lady who stated above that "Many Muslims are apathetic when it is a non-Muslim who dies and sympathetic when a Muslim dies." She argues that she did not say any but mentioned many . But it does seem like , her intentions are crystal clear. Her caustic tongue , angst and fire were being bombarded in every direction and she was at ease performing this act continuously and mindlessly thinking that she is reforming the world and her friends / followers supported her cause and some other people who were tolerating her from long thanked me for speaking up! I got myself deleted from her list to which she tried to dump some more dung on me. I know, Islamophobia is ruling the world and I know that the U.N. has coined this term "Islamophobia" too but when you see that people around you take this as a reason to hate anyone and everyone, you get distressed! Muslims die too in the terrorist attacks and sympathy or compassion doesn't vary based on religion!

Friends who seemed like they supported me at some point, also have kept status updates shortly after this  - "That Muslims are merciless and that he/she thanks God that she is not a Muslim." and that " They have foolish God men in their religion which is better than having killers like in my religion."  My status update after reading all hateful updates was like below.

"The Proposal" - My wedding poem

He came like a stranger with no preset mind to meet me.
But I sat with too many bothering thoughts, which I felt he could see!
I wished for the "official" aura to disintegrate so that I could act minus the decree.
I some how felt he was experiencing the same confusion and it made me glee!



The initial shyness vanished when he smiled broad.
I shuddered thinking , “What to speak next?? Oh LORD!”
I silently conveyed thanks to someone who interrupted,
for whatever I spoke sounded silly and disrupted!


Minutes passed to hours and I found my-self relaxed.
I was naturally conversing, the way I do with only few and no one coaxed!
I found myself chatting, questioning and then elaborately replying.
The ambience seemed joyful and without any reason I was smiling!


I didn't know if it was a new bond in making.
I wasn't even sure if I was real or if I was faking!
Only thing I was sure was there was some vibe.
His presence was pleasant and there wasn't any kind of jibe!


He hinted a question with his eyes and I said "YES".
Instantly I started dreaming about me in the wedding dress!
I started getting panicky about my life and hoped that God will bless.
When he gave an assuring nod, though the fears didn't disappear they became less!


I had butterflies in stomach when I realized that marriage was on cards.
There were no poems recited or songs sung by the bards!
There was no sparkle in the sky and there were no stars falling down.
There were only smiles as there was no time to frown!!

It is always special just he and me.
I feel like a queen wearing tiara and he looks like the king with a crown! :)

Mine was an arranged marriage and there were no flashy proposals or cinematic stories but whether it is an arranged or a love marriage , love does make the ride worth while. Love helps to ignore the negatives and highlight the positives. Love makes one bloom in others' color and marriage just glorifies the color. It does feel tricky in an arranged marriage when you choose some one based on some criteria (not that it is too different in a love marriage as you have some criteria there too) , but at times your heart does whisper that "he / she is the one," and I think one should understand the subtle hints of the heart :)

Image source : here

 I want to end this post by sharing the below filmy video which we made explaining each other briefly as part of our wedding invite :) 

                                           Link for the video in case you can't see - U and me

If we have "Faults in our Stars" will we be "Okay" ?

I go in to a shell when I face a slight discomfort in my life. Will I be  "OKAY" if actually a bigger calamity occurs? Will I be OK and courageous and fight the obstacles and win ? How will my parents react if they knew some thing terrible has happened to me ? Will they be OKAY and put up a smile and a courageous face just to console me ? Will I be able to make the moments merrier and worthy enough like Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters? These were the first questions which popped in  my head after watching, "the fault in our stars."  This post is not particularly a review but to explain how the movie impacted me!

"Thank your stars" - This is what we keep hearing whenever we are out of a situation. Thank your stars as you are just left with a fracture and the accident was not terminal. Thank your stars for being a guy and for not having to bear the labour pain. Thank your stars for this , that and for every thing but what will you do if you have faults in your stars and are trying to defeat a terminal illness your whole life just to increase some more days of your life! Can you thank God for the life he gave ? Can you stay positive and ignore the repercussions ? All these questions are haunting me from the moment I watched the movie.

Hazel Grace ( Shailene Woodley) is terminally sick and has thyroid cancer which spreads to lungs. She breathes only with the help of the oxygen cylinder which she always carries, where as Augustus Waters (Ansel Elgort) is a cancer patient who lost a leg because of bone cancer but is extremely positive towards life. They feel connected in seconds and there is no stopping to the strong bond. Gus is head over heels for Hazel. Hazel who first resists the charm finally gives in. They both prove that LOVE doesn't need TIME. Both of them are so fitting in the story, so young yet so matured sharing love and pain both which demand to be felt.
There are so many dialogues and quotes from the movie which have just hit the nail on the head. I shuddered and got lost in thoughts when Gus says , "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world. But you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices." I didn't know how to respond to this. If I was in Hazel's place I would have immediately hugged him tight as obviously I might cry and fall short of words. With out deeply explaining everything I will just mention some scenes and quotes and why I loved them so much.

Visit to Amsterdam and the Anne Frank House:

One of the deepest wishes of Hazel which she wants to fulfill in her life time is to meet author, Peter van Houten to know what happens to the characters and story after his book ends which is quite incomplete to her. After too much fuss and struggle they make it to Amsterdam only to realise that the author is a frustrated soul who gets extremely rude and disappoints them but they have a great trip where they realise the spark of romance which was there between them from long. They visit Anne Frank house with the help of Lidewij - Van Houten's assistant and I loved the entire scene - How Hazel struggles to climb the steps and still is determined to see it all , the background narration in Anne Frank's house which is both inspiring and saddening and which sets a perfect backdrop for their first romantic kiss. It was heart warming to see the love between them.

The Eulogy scene:

Needless to say , this is the scene which made me shed tears. It was powerful , heart wrenching and you just can't resist your tears. In a satanic twist of life Augustus's Cancer flares up , spreads in the entire body and is terminal.He invites his friends Hazel and Chris to his pre-funeral in the church. As and when Hazel started talking I tried a lot to not cry and then cried a lot and lot! I am sharing a snippet from Hazel's speech below.

“There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.” 
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Yes some infinities are greater than other infinities and the way she told made me bawl. I cried hopelessly. I prayed that Gus should get more days but the inevitable happens and he dies. If this eulogy made me cry , Gus's eulogy made me smile and gave me will power . Rather than sharing the lines , hear it in his own voice in the clip shared below. He mails the eulogy to Van Houten where he says " Van Houten is a good writer but a shitty person but Gus is a shitty writer and a good person".  I loved the ending where Hazel watches the open sky and stars hugging the letter to herself .I realized that becoming weak once in a while is inevitable for even the strongest of the people. I cried along with Gus when he becomes weak and feels defeated. I was inspired by his sense of humour even in the darkest hours. The dark and pessimistic words of author (Van Houten) too made sense at some point of time.

All I want to say is it is tough to get this movie out of my head and soul. I am deeply impacted. Too many words are etched in my mind. If only we could make the "Long" lives we live better ones like Hazel/ Gus. If only we try to be "OKAY" and get out of troubles instead of frantically cursing ourselves, life would be much better. I am all set to be a bit courageous and read the book now :) Some of my favorite quotes from the movie are shared below.

“It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing.” 
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always” 
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?” 
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” 
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Lastly I wish we all should be "always ""okay" . First I saw My Sister's Keeper (which also made me think a lot) and now this .I take this chance to salute to all the cancer patients who fought the disease and won over it and all other people who struggle with 100 issues day in and day out and to whom every day life is a battle. I also take this chance to salute to all those patients who succumbed to cancer and other dreadful diseases.  One should watch this movie to become more positive towards life because...

  "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Abraham Lincoln

                              

and a video and a song I loved on You tube-