Thursday, June 13, 2013

My first best friend- My Papa!

It is very common to see mother’s day posts and every one praising mother to skies. While mothers love is unmatchable and divine there is one more being whose love is not mentioned frequently in articles or blogs. I am not saying it is not mentioned at all but the frequency is less compared to the number of times a mother’s love is described. A mother's pain and myriads of emotions she bears those 9months can never be understood by anybody else but a father and his joy which has no limits is often side kicked.  A father also goes through most of the emotions which are inbuilt in a mother. It seems when I was born my parents were extremely tensed as they didn’t want a boy again. My father was praying it should be a baby girl and my mother was hopeful that it will be a girl.  Hearing my first cry it seems my granddad shouted outside the labour room, “Such a loud cry can only be of a girl!” Being a father of six my granddad knows better than anyone else  :) . My parents’ dreams came true when I came on this Earth. My dad said he got his promotion immediately after I was born. He calls me his lucky charm.  My brother called me “bobby”.  Not sure why he chose that name but it feels cute even now when I think of it. I am always told that I am my dad's xerox .Even our mannerisms and behavioral patterns match. 

My dad in no time became my hero. I was pampered the most and he always is a confused soul as he can’t decide whose side to take when ever I argue with my mother wholeheartedly. It’s a tough challenge to him as deciding between two women whom he loves the most is a punishment. Secretly he used to take my side and he still does.Just when I think of dad a surge of memories attack me. I remember a scene vaguely as I was in lower kindergarten then. It was my first day at school. I was stark silent as I was leaving my comfort zone and the cozy lap of mom and would be sitting on the wooden benches in midst of unknown faces.  I was petrified as soon as I entered the school which was a foreign land on the first day and my dad’s hand would have reddened due to my tight grip! Even if I was scared to death and even if my senses were not sharp enough all other swarming faces which held an expression of anxiety mingled with fear which was similar to mine relieved me.   It seems I wore a military uniform dress that day but my expression was no match to a military officer. As I entered the class room fighting back the tears my dad anxiously stood by the window and kept an eye on me. After half an hour or so the teacher entered and I gained back my composure even if my expression was stern. After he got convinced that I will just do fine my dad left the school. Whenever he narrates it with shining eyes my heart goes for him.

The Photo Phobic cake cutting session!

My dad is strongest to me. He can just fix my things, problems and worries. He conjures up anything even before I ask to make me happy. I remember the Asterix – Obelix comic books he gifted to me and my brother. That was the first ever story book in my life. Most of my bed time stories were from that book. I equally loved the doll he got me from Bangalore. No it was not a Barbie. It did not have a zero size and was prettier than Barbie. My mom stitched frocks for her and I named her Sophia!
Being the youngest I was pampered the most at home. I still am pampered a lot.  I was camera shy. An absolute photo-phobic person I was and my dad used to narrate stories to make me stand in front of camera. If I like something he always makes it sure that he gets it for me. I very well remember the day I started loving laddoo made of boondi (Indian sweet dish). My dad used to get them frequently till my mom warned him to be diet conscious! My dad spoiled me a bit. The way he always provided what all I needed made me happy in my comfort zone. When I stepped out of home and moved to hostel to live in the most uncomfortable zone of my life I howled. I cried like a baby. I missed mom but I missed dad like never before. We wrote many letters to each other. I still have them preserved in my diaries. The emotions expressed by him through writing moved me more. It was tough to say bye to mom and dad.  Thanks to hostel, those letters are my treasure trove now!

I was always reminded in letters that in just a month we would meet again or in just a week he would come there due to some official trip. The letters kept me going though they got replaced by cell phone after few months. Letter writing is much more lively experience even if there is no live chat in it!

I may get a scolding from mom or my brother may point out the mistakes in me but my dad always has a soft corner for me. This is the reason I can never imagine an aggressive or angry dad. Those rare scenarios when he becomes one I get scared to death. I made him angry many times.  He patiently tries to explain to me while I listen impatiently. As teenage attacked me I became an impatient soul like many others who go through troubled teens. He never pressurized me to become what he wanted me to. He sacrificed many of his joys and mom and dad killed the time they can spend with each other just to be with me whenever situation demands.  As I grew I started staying isolated and used to sit bolted in my room. I loved spending time with my self. My dad never complained but I knew he used to feel bad. His busy office hours gave him less time to concentrate on what we were studying and how.  It was my mom’s sole responsibility and he just used to sign the progress reports and honestly he never looked keenly at the marks or grades which eased the atmosphere at my home. He knew his kids have passion and will do something good in life. His confidence was and is our driving force. The day I got district first my dad was asked by local news reporters about my ambition and what my parents were planning for me in future ? My dad just replied he did not even give a thought. Whatever I like he will vote for it and he knows that I love biology so if I want to dive in to it he will be happy and he will encourage! I loved my dad little more that day. Just after my marriage I realize how much I miss the daddy moments!

He never taught anything by saying or dictating. He just created an easy atmosphere for us to watch and learn. It’s true that kids learn from whatever they see. Even if I am not perfect like my dad I try to mimic him when I have to decide something and I try to think the way my mom and dad will think if I have to come out of a complexity! He worked as manager throughout my child hood and is still working in a reputed corporate office. I admire his zeal to work even if he has the option to retire and rest and I love the way his college friends and colleagues love him. Recently I have been to their reunion and I felt proud to see that everyone remembered my dad and adored him! The below is an old poem I wrote.

I Love you Mom Dad

Every secret I shared even if it is unimportant and wee.
Everything and place which together we always see.
At my smallest victory her face will be in glee.
To my wishes and impossible demands she would always agree!

When I am dull she would give me a good book or story to read.
She would stand behind and give me all chances to lead.
To my tall-tales and deeds she would always pay heed.
Without me uttering a word she would recognize what I need!

After entering the home he will instantly search for me.
From my tot to teen to present days the habit hasn't changed somehow.
I say you are the head of the family, a master to all the three.
He says I am the princess of the kingdom of four and takes a bow!

He is always on the move to fulfill my craziest desires.
We cut jokes on each other and throw satires.
A friend and "the best" he is, who comes to my rescue.
To pull mom's leg his face lights up in a bright hue!

Today I realized what I am missing.
No one can stand for you like your parents do.
Keep the whole world aside and keep them on the side which is true.
How much ever you love them, there will always be due!!

This is  for a contest "Papa Kehte Hai" by . Thanks for making me a winner :) !


  1. aww!! So sweet, Afshan! I love how you celebrated your dad with this post! You are quite right that dads get ignored most of the time.
    One gentle correction: xenophobia means dislike or hate/fear for people from other countries, and I don't think that's what you meant in your post! :)

    1. I am glad you liked it. More glad as U read this first :) I corrected that word and used a better sentence but what I actually meant was school was a foreign land to me and xenophobia also means fear of strangers or any thing foreign. Wrote in that context :) Thanks for pointing it I feel the change I made makes the scene a better one !

      Thanks for reading yar

  2. Yes, you are a cerox of him..what fond memories! Love to Uncleji :)

    1. I meant Xerox... Typing on the touvh screen stinks!

    2. Understood your typo ! :) I do them myself. Ya many say I am the carbon copy ;)
      Thanks Laxmi

  3. Such a heartfelt post!!! I am somehow never able to write about my parents like this....dunno why!

    1. Thank U ! I just get too carried away many times. Some or the other event triggers it resulting a blog post :)
      Thanks for liking it

  4. Afshan, this is a wonderful tribute, written from your heart :)

  5. Just checking if you got my previous comment.

    1. Oh it seems not - I got disconnected just when I pressed 'publish'. I meant to say that your Dad must be proud of the free-spirited and outspoken young woman you've become - a credit to his love and trust, for sure!

    2. Ya Corinne. Got ur comment :) Thanks a lot.
      Ya I am hoping my dad is proud of me ;) ! Thanks for ur comment. Will show to him

  6. I was touched by your account of how much your Dad means to you, and yes, you are a spitting image of him. He must b a wonderful person indeed. A good father makes such a big impression in the life of a child.

    1. THANKS cynthia ! My mom dad loved ur comment :)
      Thanks for ur words

  7. This was a beautifully written, straight from the heart post. :)

  8. For such a beautiful post, you deserved to win :)Congratz again!

    1. Oh thats a sweet thing to say Bhavya !!
      thnnk u

  9. No words dear Afshu. HUGS <3

    I so want you to win. All the very best.

    1. Thanks Preeti and I won ;) Ur words r magical I guess
      Thank u

  10. So heartfelt. I miss my father ... and you reminded me of him. May I share a link to my tribute to him here?

    1. I guess I read the post above and was all teary eyed !!
      Thanks for reminding the post and am glad u liked mine Ritu :0

  11. Such a Proudful Post for the Girls. Save Girls, Save the World!


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