Death

Death - when it knocks the door..

Would you even get a chance to understand what's in-store?

Death - when it knocks the door...

Will you not wish to live, laugh and love little more than before?

 

The eyes of a lifeless soul seem to have abandoned this clueless world and be in peace

The living eyes of the loving ones - would they ever be at ease?

Time heals - they all say, even the wounds which are dark and deep 

Without remembering the life with in her, will those eyes of the mother ever sleep??

For the revival of the life and for the return of the child, yearns the heart of a mother...

A mere memory of her child freshens the wounds and the misery attacks in one form or other!

Seeing and going through the grief - she wishes that not even an enemy should go through the same!

And who can explain why and what of this never ending pain?

A father tries to manage it all, talking, greeting, and swallowing the nothingness

He gives one long lasting look at the peacefully sleeping angelic soul

Hoping it all to be a dream and wishing the child to wake up with usual giggles and smiles on the face!

Who will explain to him the game of the death by God, that seems all foul?

The tears dry, and the pain gets deeply absorbed in every muscle and vein

The people leave, after uttering same set of comforting words, to live and continue their routine!

When the house becomes empty, would not every messy corner act as a painful reminder?

Of that gentle soul who was happy, more understanding than an adult and always kinder!

We all say prayers for the departed soul, while we know that this is not the fair play...

A heart wonders - How come the criminals and sinners continue to live each and every day?

Where as a soul that harmed none was so drastically taken away...

What will lessen this emptiness and pain now - who can possibly say?

source: here

When death really knocked the door...

I wish it atleast was able to meet the eyes of this pure being.

I wish that it explained the reason and just answered everything!

Death would also have mourned this demise and felt helpless as it followed the behest!

They say truth that the smallest of the coffins are the heaviest...

PS: A little child whom I knew well suddenly passed away and we all are still not able to come to terms with it. May God give strength to the whole family to heal!

"When God Spoke to Me!"

Is it for the love of God, you do what you do?

Or is it your hunger to wake up something sleeping within you?

What do you mean to do with these new wings of power?

Do you want to scream the greatness of the God standing on a tall tower?

There is only one God for all of us, as it is famously said!

Does that God understand your deep devotions and the efforts laid?

What do you think he is doing from up above the world?

Is he glad, euphoric, or feeling that there is still more to be done and told!?

Yesterday God came into my dream and whispered a few blessings in my ear!

He sat next to me and caressed my forehead, the dream felt so real!

I asked him, "Which God are you?," as I felt I didn't know him.

He chuckled, "Not which! Ask me Why I am here?" suddenly sounding so grim!

"You humans pray to me, please me, and offer me so much!

As you work crazily to project me as the best, are you aware of what you are doing to each?

If you are so passionate about your God, inculcate in yourself - inclusivity and empathy...

I live in each one of you, and not in a shrine or in the sun or the sky conversing through telepathy!

Next time you feel all devotional, try to look deep into the unwavering eyes of a child

The eyes pose a million questions - as to who and what they are?

Thanks to the divisiveness you created among them - they form a very early identity!

They believe what they see and what they are told, as to who is who's deity!

Next time when you need a favor and want me near you, think about the misfortunes and misery gripping the globe!

Know the facts around you, not the hypotheses - Try to probe!

Nothing matters to me when the world is indifferent and blind to few and wide-eyed in awe for few!

No miracle would work until you double-faced hypocrites are bound to destroy and strew!

You could build me golden walls, and walk me all around the earth

You could install me in every nook and corner, but still, there will be a dearth...

You put your life at stake for me, fighting over the blood, bones, and the carcasses

You dig me out deep from the Mother Earth's belly and resurrect me, thinking it will clear your own mess

Beware that nothing matters till you learn what love and devotion in real mean!

Till you learn to live as humans, does it really matter whether your God is heard or unheard, seen or unseen?!"

As the last question rang in my ears, and as dawn cracked...

I woke up in disbelief as the feeling of God stayed with me, but he disappeared!

Yet again I start my day with my work and things...

Yet again I realize, it is not God whom I dislike, it is his fans' association and their doings!!!

Not sure of the source but I just love this quote. As per info on GoodReads, it is by A.B. Potts

P.S. On a related or may be not-so-related note, do watch this movie - Bruce Almighty, if you haven't already. You won't regret it.

A WAR

In the midst of a meaningless battle, a war unfolds,

Not in the attacker's mind, but the one who is attacked and holds,

The weight of this conflict they never chose,

A war in their hearts, where the numbness and nothingness rose!

The soldier in the field, with a bomb, rifle and a blade,

Kills millions, shatters countless souls with the choices made!

In the midst of the chaos, a war silently laid,

Between willful actions and a conscience swayed.

A mother and father, in sorrow's cruel grip,

Hugging their child's lifeless form, they weep,

A war in their souls, as hope takes a leap,

'To breathe life into the one they wish to keep!!'

Innocent children, their questions abound,

Why war's cruel hand on their lives was found?

A war in their hearts, a plea to the world's ground,

To understand their mistakes and the ways to fix them, their voices resound!

In our minds, a war, a divisive divide,

Where unity crumbles, and we can't decide,

How many wars to end this internal tide??

To say, "It's enough," on this chaotic ride...

The Thought Tornado - A new poem

The worldly charm doesn't entice me anymore!

The smiles and the urge to show off the material more than the matter feel so sore...

Why does each and every one and everything seem so bore?

What is the name of this feeling that I am sensing at my core!!?

 

It is not emptiness, surely, I am not someone who can feel empty for so long?!

It is not fulfillment, but I have no clue what makes this heart full, what exactly can be right or wrong?!!

Some say it is "the mid-life crisis," or maybe the full-time job of parenting!

Others say it is just because I have not upgraded myself as per the world's timing!

 

Often, I find myself at the crossroads, as the odd one out who can really not oblige to a norm or any fad.

Why does it feel like the majority are so sane in their insanity and I am the only one who is mad :)

Why does it feel impossible to find the rare good amid all that is bad!??

The good I see is not good enough for me, and everything needs to be rad!

source: here

More than people, I get more attached to a place, the elements of nature, a river, or a flower💮

Maybe because they stay the same and remain those constants holding an unknown power!

A relationship binding any two people feels odd like a transaction

The old-school me can never come to terms with it and is not aware of how to function!

 

I am not made for this world, is my well-calculated conclusion...

An ideal world in my head - Is it just an illusion?!

I belong to a place where the smiles and tears feel free, and eyes won't lie

A place where I can be myself and need not have to always try!

As the tornado of these thoughts engulfs me in full!

I sit like the calm before the storm and try to mull...

Is there such a place around me, or is it just within me?

Maybe if I search and look deep inside, the place - that haven of peace - I may finally be able to see...

Veni, vidi, vici - I came, I saw , I conquered

The Latin phrase Veni, Vidi, Vici popularly attributed to Julius Caesar, in English means - I came, I saw, I conquered. Apparently, Julius Caesar used this quote in a letter to refer to his swift conclusive victory. Now you may be wondering if I am writing a post to explain some historical anecdote or to narrate about some self-victory!

Nope! Recently I didn't win any battles (personal or professional), though the struggles are on, both in personal and professional fronts. I didn't achieve any big award or reward, though nowadays I am trying to filter my battles and be very nit-picky about which battles to fight on! I think it is a victory in itself - getting rid of so many stupid unnecessary battles fought with stupid people for stupid reasons. Keeping my frustration aside, I came and dusted my blog a second time this year to shower my love and appreciation on one man - who made me write so many things on my blog! Whenever I write/wrote a Love poem or something heartwarming, or fantasize about my dream man - he silently keeps swaying in my mind!

From my childhood till now, the one thing that hasn't changed is my unconditional love towards him. Yes, he had his downtime, his bad phases, and utter flop moments but when he came back, he took all possible steps - to come back with a bang. It is funny that the second post I am writing on this blog this year, is again about the same person - the same man who has won and keeps winning the hearts of millions, whose charisma and warmth are felt profoundly by all his fans and even some non-fans! The one whose manners make you feel puzzled that how can he even after all the success, take out time for many of his fans and make them feel personally involved and leverage their position. It all feels personal as if we all played a pivotal role in his success! His wit and thinking on the spot, on the feet make.one feel dumb. For his presence many of us have waited eagerly - Yes Yes! I am talking about none other than Shahrukh Khan!

But this post is NOT a review of the movie Jawaan. Many have already done that, and everyone has munched and digested the reviews, analyzed all the aspects, and elements, some showered praise, some did mud-slinging as always, and some are irritated and feel all this is hoopla! As always in mid of all this - the man rose like a phoenix and how!

Its been years, since he made a mark at box office, but after such a long hiatus....and after a series of movies that didn't work too well, when he came back...he set the silver screen ablaze and made all of us super elated! The silver screen can be called "Diamond screen" as he shined like one after over a decade! Last time I felt very good watching his movie (even before Pathan) was when I went to the movie Fan! Maybe it didn't do well at the box office. I don't bother much about numbers but the movie was impactful for the jabra fan in me!

Coming back to movies ➡️ Pathaan and Jawaan both have a different premise set, both have some pluses and some minuses, but there never was a dull moment while watching both the movies. SRK knew that we fans were craving for his magnanimous appearance, and has hit the iron when it is hot, by releasing both movies with very little time gap between the releases!

I watched Jawaan over the weekend that it was released and took my mother who loves him as intensely as I do, and was clean-bowled by just a single glance at him in the opening scenes... 

Ya ya, when each and every frame gets analyzed, you feel there could have been some enhancements, which if made, maybe the movie could have been flawless and much more bombastic -- however SRK in a meaty massy role and that too when we get to relish him in so many avatars, I believe nothing can go wrong. 

Even if a song or a scene got truncated or just removed - it just worked coz, Veni, vidi, vici - he came, he saw and he just conquered! His mass-y, a bit messy, funny, and captivating looks enthralled all fans and the neutral folks equally! Who knew that at the age of 58 - he could rock in a high-octane action thriller, the way he did! It is just a festive month for all the fans across the globe, the love he received and is receiving could be felt by each and every one of us, who eagerly waited for the success that he deserves, for his thumping victory, and his non-perishable fun quotient which just needed a break and a renewal!

Now the million dollar questions are - Why does his success feel so personal? Why does it make everyone sway crazily, go frenzy and wear bandages to show support for the movie, and flock to the movie theatres more than once? Why do people love him the way they do? 

It really is not because how he acts or dances. I think it is all because of what they receive from him, what he says, how he treats you, how he behaves, the aura, and the love he gives back!

source : here

I feel the movie if executed by any other star, may not have fared that well at the box office even with all other noteworthy actors - Nayanatara, Priyamani, Sethupathy, Deepika, etc. Personally, I feel that each and every dialogue he uttered is just for himself, he enjoyed his work the most after so long. In the stage of life, he is in at present, after many chain of events and some mishaps, the way he revived his passion felt excellent and praiseworthy. We all felt like we accomplished a personal milestone!

He has put in his extremely honest efforts and was in no mood to fail this time! He tried by all means so that his hard work and skills pay off. It is a regular action hero repertoire... I remembered many other such good flicks like Aparichit (Vikram Fame), Bharateeyudu (Kamal Hasan), and many other great Southern hits. It felt like the South Spice met  Money Heist when I watched many parts of the movie. The BEST TADKA was possible only and only due to SRK! Atlee's directions and Anirudh's BGM are on par!

Be it Ek raaja tha .... bahut gusse me tha .....or Bete ko maarne se pehle baap se baat kar - all these iconic lines were being full-on enjoyed by SRK, and delivered in no nonsensical manner!

source : here

Whatever Sena or organization files FIRs against any segment of the movie, it really doesn't matter - because success wipes it all off.

 "I feel that the more the hate mongers continue their hate cry, the more the movie will earn and soar high! "

The existence of some of the haters is a blessing to him ---- coz IT JUST MAKES OUR LOVE MULTIFOLD! Bring on the hatred and we will shower tons of love on him💗💗💗💗

"Mausam Bigad Gaya" - Pathaan Review

Today on January 26th I went to watch Pathaan on the second day of its release, being a die-hard SRK fan...and oh boy! I didn't regret it. I know I am MIA on my blog since the April A to Z challenge. I just got so engrossed in my daughter's schooling, works, house shift, settlement that the blog gained so many cobwebs. I think the action filled republic day made me come back in action 😊

Pathaan pose

Pathaan is not a movie-  To fans it is an intense emotion that stirred their heart, made them hoot, sing, whistle and shout in excitement. After a series of flops, when SRK worked in something actually entertaining, enjoyable with zero dull moments - we fans felt out of the world. I was on 9th cloud when I saw too many SRK Lovers in theatre who added the festivities to the movie. The madness was palpable and the love felt contagious - This is a perfect comeback for SRK - felt like a calculated move as the movie got released on a perfect day -- with Republic day around the corner and a weekend immediately following it. I am sure both the hero and the business man in him took this step, but it was not even needed. The movie earned 100 crores on the day of opening and it became the first bollywood movie that earned 100 crores on day 1 it seems. I am not much bothered by the money a movie earns but after what all happened with SRK , news being blown out of proportions to harass him or tarnish his image and after so many trials of BOLLYWOOD BOYCOTT gang to ban the song or the movie ---- it still didn't make any difference .... the Mega hero came back with the mega come back - A day before the movie I was hoping that it should not be worst like his previous works ( Zero, Dilwale etc.) and he must be having a smart plan under his sleeve - Thankfully he did and a wave of nostalgia, happiness and enthusiasm was spread among the viewers!

Today with utmost difficulty I got two tickets in Prasad's Multiplex of Hyderabad and the best part is I took my mother with me and she entered theatre after 7 years may be !!! She thoroughly enjoyed too... After all we are fans from two different generations!

About the Movie

I think a lot has already been shared, many reviews came out and people are leaking the reels on instagram too which has the movie's surprise elements (which is bad) ----  By now many know some of the twists in the movie. Anyhow I Won't be revealing any spoilers. Pathaan is a slick, action packed , absolute entertainer with BLOCKBUSTER labelled all over it. I won't deny that initially the trailer felt tacky and there was too much of a hullabaloo in the name of VFX... but it has all elements to appease the masses and fans and even non-fans can enjoy the movie with out getting bored!

A typical Action hero who doesn't ask his nation to give anything in return Vs a good guy turned bad guy --- The story line is not completely new but the representation is too cool and the rage among audience starts just in the opening scenes when Pathaan's one battered eye is visible through long mane of his :) while he is being beaten up by the terrorist groups!

Some of the dialogues subtly refer to his real life and also the actual happenings in the country.

You cannot miss when Dimple Kapadia says, "Ab Pathaan ka Vanvaas poora hogaya - use vapis bulaao" . .. means his hibernation ended , time to call him back  - which also felt like SRK is coming back after a long sabbatical. The feverish whistles was a sight to watch in the theatre! There are some soulful dialogues and powerful patriotic scenes too - for which you should not get lost in all the high voltage action. There is a scene where Deepika asks Pathaan, "If he is actually a Muslim and if it is his real name?" - to which his response felt too good to me. The backstory, why the name and the explanation - Rather than me revealing - may be you should watch it ! There is also a goosebumpy scene with Dimple Kapadia almost near the climax -- and here is where I FELT THAT THE BOLLYWOOD NEGATING CRITICS would have oooohh aahed if the same scene was performed by some Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock and not Dimple! 😈

However I loved the scene. Very strong patriotism projected in that single scene!

The scene where Pathaan explains the basic trait of Soldier during Climax is also mind blowing!!

If by chance, the action in first half doesn't feel enough for the action movie lovers - the second half would surely blow their brains. It is highly electric , full of style and filled with some interesting twists - may be a logic here or there is missed - but do you really search for Logic and story while watching Marvel movies, Avengers or Mission Impossible always??!

Pathaan definitely deserves a watch in theatre! Specially after so much lull in the bollywood, this movie will BOOOM - Wake you up from the bollywood slumber - Go watch it ! I don't wanna reveal many other intricate elements or details of the story, just would summarize some key roles played in the movie!

One of the Movie posters

Key Roles and some details:

• Deepika's song Besharam is not as bad. The scene after that is uber cool and she didn't feel like she is only gyrating around Pathaan (or may be they deleted some scenes after all the ruckus??)

• John Abraham is so chic, with his tattoos and that body and also the Dialogue baazi made him look perfect
  
  
• SRK - well I don't wanna shower my love any more. Read many other reviews shared all over the internet to understand the LOVE Explosion❤
  
  
• DP did her best as Rubai . She skating on that thin ice felt ultra good to me (It might be a body double though but looked cool. Just leaking this detail - sorry. I won't reveal more SPOILERS)
  
  
• The locations were mast (good) . Be it spain , Russia or Dubai
  
  
• Dimple Kapadia, Ashutosh Rana were good in their roles. May not have long screen presence but left their impact in the movie!
  
  
• The bodies maintained by both SRK and John - Just wow!
  
  
• Last but not the least Sallu Bhai (Salman Khan)'s Cameo took the cake. Audience went gaga when he jumped in to the train to save Pathaan (well this is all over the internet, hence leaking) . The climax scene was also extended with another surprise element just to please the fans + audience! The references to other YRF movies is a pure marketing strategy but it worked!
  
  
• The humor is light and funny - In the end When Pathaan says he has an appointment with Hair dresser not for hair cut but just for shampoo ;) - It would steal fans' hearts. There are many jokes which left us grinning ....
  
  
• NOT HAVING MANY SONGS - a big boon. there are just 2 and they worked with the movie's premise!

I had a great day out with Mamma dearest who has always loved SRK - a day well spent and Salman was a cherry on the cake as my mom used to love him from 80s I believe. A wave of nostalgia engulfed us today. SRK brings the joy of 90s and the blockbuster kinda environment back to cinemas. Reading this Live mint post made me so happy! I can't get over the movie hence logging my words here. The movie is a sure shot gift to his fans after more than 10 + years. I really wish his upcoming releases work too and he keeps entertaining us. InshaAllah!!💛

To phir der kyu - kursi ki peti baandh leejiye - Mausam bigad chuka hai ;)  [Fasten your seat belts - the weather has gotten stormy ]👌💥

The song which made audience dance in theatres. It is so good to see that people are celebrating it!

Social Awkwardness and Anxiety

I have been socially an awkward person for as long as I have known. I can be called an introvert...a socially-phobic and anxious person! It is not easy to put up with me! And it's not very easy to believe it because in an office atmosphere or at social gatherings I try my best and behave as if I am comfortable. Truth be told, I would be suffocating and waiting for the ordeal to end if I have to connect and keep talking to people for long. If I really connect with a person, I talk about anything and everything, but that connection happens rarely. In the recent past ( maybe in new normal) I have a feeling that I actually can connect better only with people who read or write and rest all even if are close to me, I don't feel that spark, the joy or the connect! With writers/readers who mostly are like-minded folks, I won't be standing on the pedestal explaining my excitement, burdened thoughts, anxiety, or emotions! Anyway more on it later.

I just wanna narrate a funny incident which happened in my apartment. I went to a ceremony in a neighbor's house, which is again a big deal to me coz there r groups and then groups and just the sea of people wherever you see. Needless to say it makes me anxious, so anxious that I breathe in , breathe out at times! No. I am not kidding. I always find a quite corner in any social event , specially during family or neighborhood events or functions ! I want to be that wall flower and want every one to forget me. I know some of you must be frowning as my personality online doesn't seem the same! So I sat across the host who is a friend, and managed small talks with few around...the usual.." how are you!? How do u do? Did maid come? How's health? Are u working out" and such.

Even if I am not very outgoing, I am cordial. I try to maintain social dignity and just talk. My daughter so far is a people person - a contrasting personality when compared with me. So in that ceremony, I spot this one woman who is good-looking, has a good smile, and seemed friendly with all. A week before she had some other party at her home …and there was a last-minute invitation ( a phone call to my husband by some other member of her family) while we were all out for some long personal errand. My husband attended the party for a while, once we came back. He is quite social and has many friends among our neighbors! I was engrossed in housework, feeding Zaara and putting her to sleep. I tried saying an audible enough hi and simply tried just saying that we missed your party that day ...such and such...blah blah...I didn't even finish the sentence and I observed that she was plain ignoring me. Ignore as in, I am talking to her...and she glared at me and looked at the roof, at walls, at other people and exchanged smiles with them, etc. much to the amusement of some who were surrounding me :) and I was befuddled! I was trying to recollect if she and I spoke at any time or had any differing opinions or arguments ( in present digital circumstances it is quite a possibility). I had no memory of talking to her ever. I observed that she was talking fine with everyone but me😂 For a while I was confused, analyzed, and overanalyzed the situation, then forgot as I felt clueless.

I had my lunch (that is important 😜), spent some time, and finally left. I went on with my day but that event was poking me in the back of my mind! Anyhoo I buried it.

In the evening we all decided to go to the park for a walk. As we entered the elevator, there were a bunch of kids... playing, shouting, and in their usual high spirits! Zaara knows most of them and two slightly elder kids  (a 10-11 yr old and maybe an 8 yr old) who like her a lot started talking to her and pampering her! The 10-11-year-old girl suddenly looks at me and says:

"Aunty. I wanted to meet you from so long!"

I was puzzled, and asked : "Me???"

"Yes Aunty. I read your blog so!"

An elated me: "Wow ! Really?"

"Yes. I specially read Zaaras posts. That poem and also Zesty Zaara (she was talking about my A - Z posts) - they are just awesome!"

"Thank You so much. I feel awesome too as you read it. But how did you know my blog ?"

" My uncle read it and he showed to me!"

"Oh! So cool."

"Yes Aunty, you should show to Zaara when she grows! She will love it!"

I said Ya definitely, and we reached their floor. We said bye to each other. 

I was amazed by the acknowledgement and calm attitude, a 11 year old showed! Felt surprised by the fact that she could read my blog so well.  I spoke to her with so much ease. I loved every bit of that happy and honest talk.

As the day ended, it dawned on me that I may talk well with only a select group of adults, but I can manage talks with all the kids! The little girl made me so happy and I forgot the awkward moment from my morning!

And here comes the crazy twist - the girl who honoured me with her appreciation is the kid of the lady who gave me cold shoulder 😂😅😂 It felt super crazy once I realised it. I mean God has his own ways I suppose! 

The reason I am writing all this on the blog is cuz I am comfortable here. I can speak to myself and share my thoughts transparently with a few like-minded folks. If you are also socially anxious like me, you will understand what I am saying! If I talk all this with some other friends who even after knowing me pretty well, would still say, "Take it easy!" and label me an "OverThinker!"

To some extent they are true, overthinking never helps, but not being mute and sharing thoughts does help...so here I am writing it on my blog! 

By the way for doing what - I was subjected to a cold stare and shoulder still remains a mystery!!🤪🤪 but what is life without a little mystery isn't it? Have you ever been in a socially awkward situation? Are you an introvert? How do you handle yourself in social gatherings?

Do share your experiences :)