I wanted to write a letter to you, to preserve what all I am feeling in this blog post and to really get it out of my system and feel better. It is an open secret that writing is a cathartic process for people like me. However I am not sure if I can ever get what all I am feeling out of my system, but I can definitely make the load slightly lighter may be? Few days back when one from our cousins asked to reminisce some good old memories with you, I was totally blank! Completely blank because of all the recent past happenings and the struggle and fight which I closely witnessed. I poked my head and twisted my mind to recollect at least one memory but was feeling numb. With lot of difficulty I recollected some random memory and shared in that group, however I felt I didn't do justice to our bond or memories, hence this letter - a trial to reminisce few unforgettable, fun moments!
Do you remember those random summer days, when we used to huddle together under the shade of a neem or coconut tree in the grandmas backyard or our backyard in Ongole, and discuss anything and everything under that light blue dusky evening sky? My most favorite part was discussion of ghosts and spirits. I vividly remember how you along with your accomplices, scared me by throwing some seeds through window while I was alone in the bedroom and I screamed till my lungs exploded. Those were the days of Zee horror show (an Indian channel serial) and it took long to subside my fears.
You calling me "Afshu," echoes in my ears. I never remember anybody addressing me as Afshu so effortlessly like how you do. Not even my parents call me with that name often. I used to feel good like a pampered sister whenever I hear Afshu from you! I know there is one more Afshan in the family, and hence to avoid confusion you may have picked Afshu - Says the logical person in you ...but I also know that the warmth or emotion you felt towards me as a big brother was unmissable!
Ages back, whenever we visited your place during holidays, it always used to be so happening - You picking us from the bus stop and taking us around the city, making us taste the delicacies - from the mere "hari boot" (a type of chickpea that is popular in Hyderabad) at Charminar during shopping, to the Gokul chat and also the HALEEM of Hyderabad. As I didn't like haleem you were puzzled. I loved all those visits, our animated talks, shopping till sun sets and at times late nights during certain cousin's wedding. I thoroughly enjoyed all those moments though I dont exactly remember the words!
Like they say "baatein bhool jaate hai, yaadein yaad aate hai!"
Pulling each other's legs, having great food, doing shopping, going to movies and so on used to be our ritual whenever we meet. Your ignited passion to introduce everything that is best in Hyderabad used to feel good. The dynamism and happy smile always felt contagious.
You were one of the very few who was genuinely happy when I secured district 1st and state 5th in my Xth standard. Similarly I felt your encouragement and applause when I successfully came out of the very tough Infosys Long cycle training. I know for a fact that some success stories and happy news cant be shared with everyone, but I was sure that you would be glad on hearing my progress. We all as a big group went to Alanktrita resorts in Hyderabad to celebrate my come back and clicked many fun pics. If I start digging in to my hard disk drive to check the old pictures, I may really get lost in time & thoughts and it would be tough to come back to present. Hence I am not going there. NOT YET!
How can I forget all our silly stories, outings and movie crushes we all had - your big crush being Manisha Koirala. You were so fond of her that in a wedding of common cousin when we teased you with a pretty girl you showed least interest , pointing to the girl next to her - saying that she resembles Manisha! I believe I still have the photograph of those girls and all of us sitting on stage. 90s , Hyderabad visits, and winter weddings were a heady mixture - extremely enjoyable!
If I travel little more back in time - when I was very small and you were may be mere 15-16 in early 90s when you stayed in Kothagudem and we visited, I remember I enjoyed the stay so much...specially I was mesmerized by hybrid roses, silkworm rearing, coal mines, and Bathukamma festival of Telangana happening there then. You all are pet lovers and am not much. You used to laugh whenever I run and hide seeing your dog - was it's name Tito?? I don't remember now! We all were such a close knit group. We had our common gossips, inside jokes , talks about books , movies, so on and so forth!
Time and life have happened. Meeting each other became little less - as we all were finding our ways to cope with life's curve balls, college, exams, careers, finding a partner, and so on....by God's grace all of us settled well to a good extent! After finishing my college, We all shifted to Hyderabad and I felt glad that we got a chance to meet more often than we thought we could. I vividly remember how you once asked me, "hey can u apply this hot oil on my head" ( If my memory is right, you were having a bad headache) and in absence of your sisters you asked me in the TV area - a cozy space up the stairs in your old house where we all used to sit , watch and chat away. I happily obliged and applied oil on your head - may be the little moments like these made me feel that you are almost next to my own brother! Our zandu balm addiction, mannerisms, restless feet syndrome (where you are always moving one of your foot just like your dad, my dad and me) even while sitting still are all some commonalties๐ - I thought that probably because we have common ancestry even dad side, some behavioral traits seem similar!
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