Tuesday, April 8, 2014

"G" for "Gangs of Cribb-a-Nagar"

Only few excel in the art of cribbing. Below are few scenarios from a place called Cribb-a-Nagar where people do nothing but crib! Take a sneak peek in to the "Gangs of Cribb-a-Nagar"
Scene 1 ( Some one who desperately projects his/her hard work)
XYZ : “ Hey Yaar! You came so early today . Have lot of work ?”
Me: “No ! Just that  it is easy to catch first bus. It is traffic free."
XYZ: “What yaaar. You have no work and still you come so early . Enjoy life na?"
Me (in mind) : "Why does he have to bother about my work or my timings!?”  

 I manage a weird smile.
XYZ: “ I have tons of work! My PM has involved me in 2, 3 extra projects also. Seriously yaar, You need to learn how to deny work too.”
Me: “ Why are you not denying then?”
XYZ: “ He will raise it during my performance appraisal?”
Me : “ Then why are you cribbing with me ?”
XYZ: “ What ! I am just sharing what I am feeling!"
Me : “ See XYZ. If you are happy with your work and you are doing it for some results, be happy. Don’t cry checking out other's life style. I may have to avoid you every time I see you." 
I wanted to tell this but what I actually told is
Me: “ Oh! So sad. Why of all you have to suffer? You really have got lot of bad luck haunting you."
XYZ : “----------“ !
I finally felt what I actually told was a better answer :-)!
Scene 2 (Some one please pull the chain of their rant train!)
PQR: “ you seem so fresh even in the evening”
Me: “ &#*@(!) ”
PQR: “ At least some body is happy on the floor unlike many others!”
Me: “ @)(#@(@# (Some choicest swear words in my mind)”
PQR : “Have you seen Raj? He has been hitting gym and got in to a good shape. This god damn project doesn’t give me time at all.”
Me : …………….
PQR : “Have you watched the Queen movie? “
Me : “ Yep.”
PQR: “I am just so busy that I don’t get time to go to even a movie”
Me : “ hmm.”
PQR: “ You even bought I phone. I hardly have any savings.”
Me : “……….”
PQR: “ How do you manage to buy all trendy clothes with this salary? I just cant save much."
Me(eying his Armani shirt): “…………”
PQR: “ You even got those new Ray-ban sun glasses . Poor people like us cant afford it.”
Me: ……………..
PQR : “ Don’t you feel bad on salary days. It is hardly any thing. It doesn’t last for even 15days in my case.”

The threshold limit of my tolerance crossed.


Me : “ What do you do? Go to Casanova and gamble with all the money?”
PQR: “ No.I just live life king size.”
Me: “Why don’t you go in to politics? There you can earn and eat even with out working.”
PQR : "hehe. Who will vote for me?"
Me : “ Stop cribbing and start planning. May be some half baked heads will always be ready to vote!? And moreover  if you leave this place at least you will be out of misery and even we will be."
PQR : ……………..
Me : *feeling good*
Scene 3 (This is the killer of all)
AssB(Attention Seeking Syndrome effected beauty) : " God you look so bright and different. What have you been doing?"
Me: "Just gym and at times parlor :P"
AssB: "How do you manage to go to gym so regularly? I don’t get time."
Me: "I just dig it out somehow. But you told you are not in need of gym, some time back?"
AssB:  "Just to be fit dear. What if all boys follow you? hehehhe."

Then she fluttered her heavily shadowed eye lashes and looked back at the mirror pursing her lips to uniformly spread the lipstick she just applied and continued, " Do you feel any difference in weight after gymming?"
Me: "Well.I lost a kg or two but I never gained weight."
AssB:  "But you didn’t lose much. I see no difference. You are just like you were when I saw you before joining gym."
Me (feeling energy drained) :  "Well, I feel good when ever I do gym. So I don’t mind."
AssB: "You know what you need to diet a lot . This way you are not gonna lose."
Me: "Thanks  for the advise!"
AssB: "Did you see Rajitha? She went to nature cure and she became half after that. They give a planned diet there it seems."
Me: "Did you see her 6months after becoming half?"
AssB: "Nope. Why?"
Me: "You should see her . Her shape is similar to yours and this time she said, she will start coming to gym."
AssB : ………..
So, some times we are surrounded by constant cribbers and grouches. At times when it goes beyond limits behaving with them just like they behave with us leaves them speechless. I also ranted just yesterday but when ever I come across the A-one cribbers the only good outcome is my rants subside and they ultimately die!

This is my 7th post for letter "G" - 
"A to Z blogging Challenge 2014" .


Few "Fine" F posts :) - Give them a read

Ghata says how forgetting and forgiving is tough.


Karan Shah's False Impressions- Perfect Illusions.

Arpita, every day takes you down the memory lane with her St.Thomas School Chronicles.

27 comments:

  1. Based on the FB status from a few days ago I was waiting for a funny rant post. But you delivered an even better one :). Some people just can't get afford to see others happy, right?

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    1. Thanks for the visit Sid. This is all I could write :) actually half of it was writtten ages back

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  2. Well written..mirrors real life scenario..

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    1. Thanks for the visit Salesh. Glad U liked

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  3. Gripers and whiners. Nothing seems to make some people happy. Good one, Afshan.

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    Replies
    1. @Imran : Thanks

      @Prathima: Tell me about it :) thanks for reading

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  4. Haha wish I could come up with such witty answers! Most of times I just politely smile while in my mind I'm pulling daggers through them :P

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    1. Some times I do utter TIGHT slap kinda answers. Thats why I cant be friends with many :)

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  5. Some people don't have any other work save to do this.

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  6. All the witty retorts get stuck in my throat...while I smile. Happens. Good 'first hand' post.

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    1. @Hrishikesh: Ya it is their birth right

      @JANU: Thanks . Glad u could laugh :)

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  7. Very interesting. Liked reading this.

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  8. WHINERS WHINERS EVERYWHERE, not a place to breathe!
    Haahah the second dialogue cracked me up!

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  9. haha, Afshan, looks like all the cribbers are around you. Better run in the opposite direction the next time you spot one, otherwise they will suck the joy out of your life and make you feel guilty for not feeling as miserable as they feel.
    Amusing post.

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  10. AssB. LOL. I know a handful of them.
    Good to see imaginative posts. But how do you manage to write so frequently. I am unable to catch up with all the reading. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. Kudos to your time management skills.

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  11. hahaha....Gud Afshan you gave the replies you did! There are so many of these kind of people what can I say!

    Random Thoughts Naba

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  12. Cribbing is really in these days. People even use it as a tool.to ahow off without appearing immodest.

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  13. Hilarious! I am not gonna crib all day now :)

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  14. Hahaha...That is exactly how it is.
    Good one

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  15. Laughed a lot 1 Thank you ,Afshan,this was too good ! Some people never get tired of complaining !

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  16. Hahaha..Afshu really I am going to keep these as notes with me and someday be as witty as you

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  17. I swear there are such types in everywhere !! The second one was awesome :D

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  18. LOL!! I love your responses! Very hilarious though if you encounter this on a daily basis, it must be really irritating!

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  19. LOL, very interesting and funny and will surely be helpful for others :P

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  20. No comments. I am a cribber myself. :P

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  21. This was awesome Afshan.. LOL!!! And many thanks for having me in your favorite links. I feel so special. I saw this today, as you know I have not been reading much in the past!! Love you!!

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What do you think about this ? I always love to hear back.A comment or a brickbat boosts me to write more but the mud slinging shall be promptly vacuumed.
Thanks for your time :)

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