Dear Zaara,
I am writing this letter just to preserve my feelings for you right at this moment. I am sure a mother's love cannot be explained in a manner which can be understood easily! Most of the times I know I am the bad cop at home and you don't like me teaching punctuality or discipline to you, you don't want me to make you sit to do homework, to force you to eat food, and to not allow to play 24*7...but in this letter I just am trying to say what you mean to me and how I feel. The day I felt a part of my soul reunited with me to make me feel life like is, 10-02-2017. When you screamed in the labour room at about 11:10 p.m. after an ordeal of a whole day ( the day started at 3 a.m. πͺ)I was relieved! At that moment I was only happy that I was out of pain and and for some reason I was feeling I would have a boy, so when doctors declared that it's a baby girl, my enthusiasm dampened. Don't glare at meπ€¬. I know everyone who is reading this would frown! The only reason I wanted to have a baby boy is due to the fact that girls have to go through all this - what exactly I was going through... and that moment I really wanted a boy, but the second they placed the baby bundle in my hands, I broke-down. It all played in the back of mind, the struggle to have a child, the troubles I faced those 9 months and everything...As you quizzically looked at me and didn't cry at all...I fell in love with you. We did take many pics but missed that moment. I wish to have captured that inquisitive face filled with question marks. You didn't cry much. There definitely was a hint of anger and I felt may be you sensed that I wanted a boyπ.
Taken 40 days after birth! |
As we shifted to a normal room, and you kept on cooing and making gurgling sounds …with sparkly eyes and a hint of smile...with zero interest in sleep...the nurses said just in a span of 1-2 days, "the baby is fun, has rapt attention, very observant, and feels like hyper active - we are telling this from our experience," they told. I laughed at their silliness but eventually I felt they were true! You filled such bright hues in my life with your talks, smiles, invented games, songs, dances, silly jokes, stories, paintings, drawings and many other shenanigans! I feel you are braver than me. I cried during your first vaccine shot but you didn't flinch. Seeing other kids crying I was scared but you cried quite nominally! I feel you are strong in all the sick or weak days....I remember some dreadful days and nights when you involved me with your giggles and jokes where as I was super scared ….praying you get well soon! You make friends easier than me. I am glad you are quite opposite in this aspect...yet I observed that you choose those who appeal you quite carefully! They say dance like no body is watching you and I learnt this actually from you!
You gave me courage in Covid by your resilience and ability to smile through worries. Even if we had our low moments you proved to me that whenever the going gets tough, the tough get going! I am not sure if I am the greatest mother but I always try to be your best friend... however I know you have your likings, priorities and favorites. I don't top the list. At times I feel upset but then I realize you are a part of me. We are inseparable whatever may be your choices in life! I feel every day that I can do better and I am not a good mother.
On many low days, you sense something is wrong and give a silent kiss on my forehead , on my cheek....saying "Mom it's ok!" . You have no idea how powerful it feels. It's a funny equation. You suck my energy and also pump it back. I get stumped by your matured 14 year like talks at the age of 4-5. You once told me to cool down, it's just an online class....and that you will answer when your turn comes ! I felt silly and hilarious too. You reprimand me to not accompany you as your friends mock that I am always with you. You behave like a "tween" which surprises me many times. You must have inherited your love for music from me...but just at the age of 5, your moves and expressions are fantastic. Touchwood! Today our A-Z challenge ends. My name starts with A and your name with Z. My day starts with you and ends with you. You complete me....we are like yin-yang ☯️ ! Always be what you are my darling girl Zaara - zingy, zappy, zesty , zazzy and zanny❤️
I wish you achieve what you want, live , laugh, and love abundantly! I wish you health and happiness. I have lot more to say but may be in some other letter on some other day :)
Love,
Mumma
Congrats to all my A-Z mates for being Zealous and reaching the Zenith along with me! Hope you all feel the Zen! Today you deserve to zzzzzzz and then party hard. See ya around! Thanks again to all who generously spent time on my blog and cheered me!
I am participating in Blogging from A-Z challenge 2022 and this is my last post Day 26 - 'Z' post.
WE ALL DID IT! |
Very touching. Congratulations on completing this year's A to Z challenge.
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteSo sweet how you ended the challenge! I do hope you share this with Zaara as she grows! Congrats on finishing the challenge!
ReplyDeletebetty
Ya when she grows I shall show. Thanks Betty for motivating me with ur comments every day. Congrats to u too
DeleteThats so sweet! Children are our solace, motivator, critic, fan whatever be our age! Congratulations on completing the challenge and being the most regular visitor to my blog. I looked forward to your comments every day. :-) Good luck in all your ventures!
ReplyDeleteLikewise. I particularly loved the fact that u visited every one in our WhatsApp group...thanks for ur time and good luck to u too
DeleteSuch a beautiful and heart touching letter. Print and keep a copy of this to show to her when she grows up! I feel like I have already met the two of you!
ReplyDeleteYep. I would show ..thanks for visiting my blog
Deletelovely letter to Zaara :) very heartfelt <3
ReplyDeleteThanks ladyleemanila...enjoyed knowing u
DeleteFirst of all let me congratulate you for successfully completing A-Z challenge 2022 inspite of your wrist pain. You presented beautiful posts, liked by many. I feel proud of you. Coming to Zaara, She is my angel,my stress buster my intelligent doll who entertains all of us. We are lucky to have her ❤️
ReplyDeleteMay God bless her with good health and strength to taste success in each and every point of her life ππ
Aameen..
DeleteThanks mamma for being the backbone!
You have articulated a mother's feelings so beautifully.
ReplyDeleteAww...this is such a heartwarming letter to your little daughter, oozing out a myriad emotions. Daughters are so precious. Enjoy them <3 !. Loved this post filled with so much mummy love, Afshan.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on successfully completing the challenge. Truly enjoyed reading all your posts. Best wishes and lots of love to little Zaara <3 !
You have beautifully captured a mother's feelings that many of us can relate to. The details may be different, but the feelings are the same. And the picture is perfect.
ReplyDelete@Tomichan: thanks for reading
Delete@Radhika: thanks for reading and commenting. Feels glad to see ur comments . Good luck . Keep in touch
@live and learn: thanks it resonated with u and congrats
Such a lovely letter! I know Zaara will treasure it. Congratulations on completing the a-z!
ReplyDeleteThank u Kristin for ur regular visits❤️ congratulations to u too
DeleteWhat a precious love letter to your daughter! And what a lovely photo - how angelic she looks sleeping. A great series of challenge posts Afshan - congratulations.
ReplyDeleteThanks Deborah for reading and commenting
DeleteThat is so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI love how your names span the alphabet too.
Well done on finishing the Challenge.
Visiting from Facing The Mountain
I love that fact too! Congrats to u too on finishing challenge...not sure y u show anonymous!!
DeleteThis is a heartwarming post. Congrats on getting to the end of the challenge!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks James...same to u too
DeleteWhat a beautiful, heartfelt, heart-touching letter and post. Thank you for sharing your Zesty daughter with us! Such a lovely story and life you've shared. I love how she is helping you to grow and how connected you are. Congratulations on finishing the challenge (especially with such zest in your life!) and for visiting so many others' blogs! Appreciate sharing this time with you!! Best wishes moving forward!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Barb. Likewise. I like ur thoughtful comments! Ya it's high time to write a letter after all covid life i felt ....
DeleteHeart warming post. Took me back to my early motherhood days.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely loved the last few lines.... the yin and the yan part of it!
I'm going to take my time savoring each of your posts!
Thanks for ur time Radhika. I know the madness and rush of A to Z. Take ur time.. i loved reading ur posts on Goa!
DeleteAfshan - what a beautiful letter do your zesty Zaara. I would keep writing her letters. One day maybe you can read them together. It has been a joy getting to know you and I look forward to reading your blog (as you continue with it). You did it all the way to Z- celebrate!!
ReplyDeleteThe Man who would lead - Zelensky
May be i can compile many more letters if not publicly May be personally....i hope to continue blogging freqly. Am catching up with many other things. I wish to read u again soon!
DeleteWhat a lovely gift for your daughter. Congratulations for completing the A to Z journey and gratitude for your encouraging visits during April. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteThanks and same to u Sonia❤️
DeleteVery sweet.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteCongratulations on finishing the challenge! and Happ Birthday to Zaara!
ReplyDeleteThanks john ! Its not Zaaras bday :) It is just a letter written for Zaara
DeleteWhat a journey, and Zaara is only 5 years old, can you imagine the letter you're going to write in 2027?
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on completing A - Z :-)
I can't imagine. ..taking each day at a time. I believe in 2027 i would still retain most of the feelings, nagging feeling of insufficiency and trying to do better with each day :) tx for reading me from time to time
DeleteThis is such a heartfelt letter to your growing daughter. I wanted to write post, but as a mother of a teen, I know the value of each and every word written there. When I was in labor it started at 1:00 pm in the afternoon and ended at 6:47 am the next morning, So, I could relate to you, and then afterwards each and every word written, it was like, you were writing about me as a mother.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful way to end the challenge. May God Bless you and your daughter. AND
Kudos to you for completing the challenge. Yes, we all did it.
Eid Mubarak to you! Let's stay in touch. If you are on Instagram let's connect there as well my profile there is https://www.instagram.com/swatzsays/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/swatingupta/ and Twitter:https://twitter.com/swati1012
Going back to read the posts that I missed.
Thanks a lot for ur lovely wishes and for sharing ur feelings too. I think we r alrdy connected on insta and linked in. Anyway i will check..thanks for spending so much time to read my posts!
DeleteThis is so so very cute! She's so beautiful and seems like an amazing girl!!!
ReplyDeleteIt was fun knowing you through the challenge!
And like you said, can't wait to cross paths again!
Hopping in from the A-Z community,
Dream
https://thedreamgirlwrites.wordpress.com/2022/04/01/anguish/
Zaara is beautiful. What a lovely post for the end of the A to Z challenge.
ReplyDeleteThat was really Ammmaaaazzziinnnggg Afshan , so beeeaaauuuuttttiiiffffuuuullll and heartfelt π ♥ π ❤ π . It got me emotional tooπ’. I totally agree π ππ» π that our kids can be our strength as well as our weaknessππ
ReplyDelete@Ranjana : thanks for ur comments always. I loved the fact that u loved it❤️
Delete@anonymous : thank u
@Dream girl: likewise and thanks for ur visits
Afshan, this is such a straight-from-the-heart, lovely letter to Zaara!
ReplyDeletePlease preserve this, and when she has grown up to understand what life is, you should show it to her.
Congratulations for putting up 26 posts all through April.
Hope you would continue to blog, and I look forward to your wonderful posts.
-- Pradeep from Time and Tide
Ya I shall preserve this..thanks for reading many of my posts...just that am finding it very tough to reply to all!!!! nyhow would love to be in touch. Thank u
DeleteCongrats to u too
What a beautiful letter to write to your daughter. I hope that you will print it for her so that she can keep it. I'm sure when she's a little bit older and can really appreciate the content of it she will treasure it. Well done on completing the challenge and thanks for all your visits and comments on my blog.
ReplyDeleteI love how you've been so honest in the post. Such a beautiful letter, I am sure Zaara would love reading the letter as she grows older. It's amazing how you're teaching each other and you seem to be learning courage, letting go, dancing like no one's watching etc. from her! She's got a great Mom and am sure she's going to come out as one solid lady like you are. Was the name with Z planned this way only? Since you're A? So you have the whole world amongst you? :) Such a lovely thought lekin - your A-Z is the full essence of this challenge! Stay blessed, both of you! And you, please keep blogging!
ReplyDeleteYou can access my A-Z at FictionPies
Thanks a lot ❤️ i treasure ur comments.....it was not at all planned but while writing that idea struck me π she had a couple of name suggestions from z and s. Z became final..ur presence on blog is always heartwarming.....thank u
DeleteThose nurses in the hospital had Zaara figured out quickly! And they were right! She's all those things and more!
ReplyDeleteAmazing Afshan, we often hear and see people taking a lot of photographs and videos of their kids when they are growing up, I believe it would be better if we wrote them letter during the time they are growing and hand it over to them once they have grown, would be an amazing experience
ReplyDelete