The Pensive

I have been socially an awkward person for as long as I have known. I can be called an introvert...a socially-phobic and anxious person! It is not easy to put up with me! And it's not very easy to believe it because in an office atmosphere or at social gatherings I try my best and behave as if I am comfortable. Truth be told, I would be suffocating and waiting for the ordeal to end if I have to connect and keep talking to people for long. If I really connect with a person, I talk about anything and everything, but that connection happens rarely. In the recent past ( maybe in new normal) I have a feeling that I actually can connect better only with people who read or write and rest all even if are close to me, I don't feel that spark, the joy or the connect! With writers/readers who mostly are like-minded folks, I won't be standing on the pedestal explaining my excitement, burdened thoughts, anxiety, or emotions! Anyway more on it later. I just wanna narrate a funny incident...

As I sit engulfed in the aroma of eid-ul-fir/ Ramzan delicacies being made by mom  (Sheer Khurma, biryani, dal cha, dry fruits mix as a topping, bhaji and chicken fry), I am trying to recollect my best Eid memory so far. Nothing matches the joy of Ramzan spent with my naana naani (grandparents). I vividly remember early and mid-90s, those Eid days when usually our entire family clan reunites. My grandma has four daughters and one son. We lived in the same town Ongole in the closest vicinity to my naana naani and uncle, aunt ( maama maami). All the other daughters were in different cities. Usually, all the sisters and the only brother meet every Ramzan! I used to go there even before a week, to take part in preparations and have fun. My naani used to have a very old sevayya making machine...it is a machine in which you put in the wheat flour and rotate it. A sieve with very narrow holes is fixed to the bottom of the machine from which sevayya would come out....it has to be operate...

I actually got busy with work and Ramzan festival  is around the corner, but seeing every one doing a A to Z reflections post, it perked me up to do one too. I have already done a Thank You post which is as good as reflections...which surprisingly received lot of love! While writing it I felt may be I am rambling a lot....but then some of those points seemed useful to many bloggers which made me super glad. "My long posts and wrist pain haven't gone waste"- I felt😌. A to Z woke me up from a deep non-blogging slumber. Its like I woke up startled from a nightmare and I started penning down whatever came to my mind freely and unapologetically. Some of the posts written by me - Vision - An open letter to every Indian  , Bemused , Covidiots were all highlighting the current situations and challenges. Not all may find them good because we have varying opinions among the World/Country citizens, but I am glad I could pen down my unfiltered thoughts through A to Z. When I start...

Dear Zaara, I am writing this letter just to preserve my feelings for you right at this moment. I am sure a mother's love cannot be explained in a manner which can be understood easily! Most of the times I know I am the bad cop at home and you don't like me teaching punctuality or discipline to you, you don't want me to make you sit to do homework, to force you to eat food, and to not allow to play 24*7...but in this letter I just am trying to say what you mean to me and how I feel. The day I felt a part of my soul reunited with me to make me feel life like is, 10-02-2017. When you screamed in the labour room at about 11:10 p.m. after an ordeal of a whole day ( the day started at 3 a.m. 😪)I was relieved! At that moment I was only happy that I was out of pain and and for some reason I was feeling I would have a boy, so when doctors declared that it's a baby girl, my enthusiasm dampened. Don't glare at me🤬. I know everyone who is reading this would frown! The only r...

On April 9th, my daughter Zaara had her graduation day! After virtually looking at each other in rectangular boxes for 2 years , it was finally the time to meet in real. The kids and parents were equally excited. I was curious to see and meet everyone in person (after all I attended all the classes). When I entered school, everyone (staff and kids) looked gorgeous in real, was my instant feeling!😀Zaara woke up for the first time early in morning and got ready with out Alexa reminding her ( yes at our home we keep many reminders in Alexa to make Zaara do her works...after 5 min for milk, after 10 min homework so on. She finds fun in it.. I find my patience dwindling with all waiting!! ).  Anyhow today I wanna share the glimpses of the big milestone - the completion of preschool! We were welcomed with a happy décor. Kids were in great spirits, perked up to meet their friends! I want to write on how they bonded even if the classes were virtual but maybe after the challenge! As soon ...

Dec 22, 2019 Xanadu Space Ship " MISSION EARTH initiated. I repeat Mission Earth initiated!" was the loud announcement all over the space ship. In the space ship, the commander in chief of the Xanadian force, Sir. Gamma Delton called for the daily stand up meeting. "So Mr. Omega. What's the status? How are we with this mission?" "So far so good sir. We would enter the Earth exactly in 3 months from now. They don't have the infantries or suitable weaponry to fight us back, so mostly they would surrender!" "What are the chances to establish our territories at all the planned locations on Earth?" source : here "We have fair chances sir. This is the right time to occupy. They are fighting among themselves for many centuries now and in recent past, politicians are instilling more and more hatred in the earthlings!" "Hope you have done good amount of research before you declare in such a final tone!" "Yes sir! I heard ...

WhatsApp - who doesn't know this name? And who doesn't use it. Except in countries, where it is banned (like China, North Korea, UAE), everywhere else people use WhatsApp profusely! What'sApp became akin to our morning rituals like brushing teeth, reading news, exercising etc. From milk vendor to millionaire every one is using it. It is not an exaggeration if I say my day starts and ends with WhatsApp. Throughout Covid and even now I am in touch with friends, family only and only through WhatsApp. One of my friends kept a WhatsApp status long back - I am not using WhatsApp, WhatsApp is using me 🙂🙂 - at times it becomes true if we lose track of time! I want to list few pros and cons of WhatsApp in this post. Pros of WhatsApp Usage WhatsApp connected me with friends all over the globe. It helped in rapid exchange of information and memories. In Covid,  WhatsApp was very helpful to find and contact plasma donors, to know about hospital vacancies, food providers, COVID RTPCR ...

Heart does what the heart does. How many of us believe in this ? Well, whether you believe or not, your actions which involve your heart are always fulfilling. But, in today’s world we are moving in a direction in which everything we do is becoming more and more machine like, monitored, controlled, patterned, and life itself is becoming a mechanical process. Right from the time we wake up in morning till we fall asleep, we are not driven by the desires of heart but by the monotonicity of the day. In the humdrum of life we are ever forgetting what really our heart wants? We never ask that question!! As soon as we open our eyes to a new and wonderful day, instead of appreciating and thanking our life, we mechanically scroll through our mobile screens, do our morning chores in anxiety- to which we are used to, we gobble down our breakfast and travel the traffic filled crowded roads to reach offices just in time. We work all day, return home exhausted , have dinner and go back to bed, lyin...

T oday I want to just write a Thank you note to all the fellow bloggers who are constantly visiting my blog and reading all my posts which are not quick or easy reads! Writing short and smart posts is a unique talent which I don't have. I have been always reprimanded by my teachers for my lengthy writing. Whenever I write a huge essay - my ma'am would be happy that I did so much research, nevertheless she used to advise to not strain myself during examinations👀. A2Z is no less than an exam 😆. Anyway without drifting away I want to convey  thank you from the bottom of my heart for visiting regularly, reading, encouraging me with your genuine comments! I am not taking names of all the blogs/bloggers but thanks to one and all. It is not easy to write, read others, and to respond to comments! Some have done it all. I never replied to comments. I intend to do so soon after the challenge. Due to time crunch I read the comments and I make sure that I visit all your blogs and it has...

S.P. Balasubrahmanyam aka SPB or Balu is a predominant play back singer in India, who had been singing since ages majorly in Telugu, Tamil, Kannada, Hindi and Malayalam films. My heart refuses to refer to him in past tense. His death is one of the many shocking deaths during COVID to me. S.P. Balu's voice has that magic to please you, tease you and lift your spirits in no time, or just make you sad in a matter of seconds. He reigned the Tollywood  for many decades and I remember listening to him even before I knew much about movies, music or songs! Not just singing , he also does dubbing, mimicry and has acted in many notable films. I realized he has great acting skills too - He acted as dad, as a supporting actor (guest appearance) and also as a main lead in some of the movies. Breathless singing by SPB - from a movie "O papa Lali" Among his many movies, some thing I recently watched after his demise - Mithunam  stole my heart. I was in tears by the end of the movie bot...

RRR is the latest movie by Rajamouli which I watched some days back. It was a historic moment for me, not because the movie is of fictional history genre, but because I sat in a cinema hall after 2+ years of COVID life!💛😊 The movie shows the pre independence era of 1920s and the story is a fictional account of lives of two real freedom fighters  Alluri Seetharama Raju (Ram Charan) and Komaram Bheem (NTR) who have same same but different missions. If I write an honest review, I really can't decide if I liked or disliked the movie. There are few bits I liked and few which felt too much over the top for me. May be it is just the outlandish style of Rajamouli. He is well acquainted with grandeur and cinematic brilliance....however just these are not enough to entice everyone is what I felt. The movie had its grand moments. It was a feast to eyes to see so much action executed with ease and great VFX effects! You would enjoy it if you completely 'suspend your disbelief'. 😯...

After dodging the Covid variants for almost 2 years, I finally fell prey to it in the month of January 2022. Just after the pongal festival in South India where we all had a fun 3 days long weekend, the cases soar high and even I contracted during that time. At first my daughter tested positive and I was actually too nervous as kids are not vaccinated. Our doctor was in quite jovial mood because she felt everyone was getting the Omicron variant and the impact won't be serious. She eased us but I still was panicky. Even if we didn't test positive yet, she said we soon will and asked us to isolate for ten days! Immediate step was to inform maid and our cook to not come. I only felt it natural to inform the apartment mates, even if maids would have spread the happy news😅. I was actually eager to update my fb and WhatsApp status informing the same. It almost felt like not being the odd ones out! I updated and as expected the concerns poured in... Here's the catch! Every one wa...

Schooling now a days is like an investment. You invest lakhs of money, stay nervous about the child's development and expect a ROI. However during my days, schooling was neither expensive nor a marathon to run. We learnt and studied peacefully. We didn't have extra classes, transitions, tuitions or surprise tests but we did well with whatever resources we had! I completed my education in a Govt School with meagre facilities but enjoyed the school years to the fullest!  I was a good student in school and I even secured district 1st in 7th standard board exams....I used to win in many essay writing or elocution contests. I was one of the bright students or so I as told by my teachers! Today on my daughter's blog I want to just share a small incident from my school life. Our school always had surprise inspections by DEO (district education officer) or collectors or some other VIPs who want to come check the students' capabilities and the teachers' abilities to teach th...

Oh! So boring! To live in confines of four walls. Closed are restaurants, theatres, closed are the malls! As we cribbed, felt mundane and exasperated by the sudden shift in scene There were few humans who struggled to save us from the demonic Covid 19! If soldiers fought at the borders, the frontline workers fought to put us within borders! To put life at stake for the sake of others lives, they were no less than warriors! Without caring for their families, they worked day and night... As we munched and binge watched Netflix, they continued their fight! Even the laathi charge of Police didn't instill fear in all. The Lockdown was a break for some, a time to plan a trip with a pal. Tiny tots understood and tried adjusting to the new routine - a reality that many adults dismissed! For some, the picture became clear when one after the other, many succumbed. For many it still is all a hoax, unnecessary panic created by ulterior groups! Getting exposed to virus is a myth to them, as the...