B for Becoming a Mother...

Being a mother is a role to which I am trying my best to get used to. Though it is a beautiful feeling It is not always a bed of roses. Roses have some spiky thorns too. It comes as a package with elements like sleeplessness, disorientation, being zombie mostly, anxiety, still having the after effects of pregnancy hormones, losing your cool, trying to get used to the entire idea of a person completely dependent on you, freaking out a bit-OK a lot, not being able to do the things you usually do and so on so forth. Postpartum is tough and I am still dealing with it. A mother learns on job forever and the learning never stops. A mother comes as a savior to a new mother. With out my mother my new motherhood would have been terrifying! The duties of mother start immediately on the hospital bed even before she is cleaned up. As soon as the baby was cleaned up, she was neatly wrapped in a soft blanket and  brought to me and  I was instructed that I should breastfeed her. I was like  "Excuse me! Didn't I just deliver? Can it not wait?" But it will not wait is what  I understood!

The first feed apparently is very important and I was taught, how to feed the baby, my first lesson even before all my senses started working. As and when she was kept on my chest, may be the warmth of  her body kick started the motherly instincts or may be it was just too much to take for that day but I cried, I actually wailed looking at her, who had already opened her eyes and was keenly staring at me. I felt that part, that small part of my life was Happiness :) It was just the tip of the iceberg. After all the bloody, gory environment was cleared, I felt like I was out of a murder scene where every one witnessed the crime :-)  ! I was shifted to my room but I couldn't rest for even a minute. I whatsapped my best friends, chatted for a while and kept staring at her cradle as it felt magical.

Multiple peoples' differing opinions and suggestions were mind boggling as I was already weared out. With Congrats messages in phone and visitors in the room flowing in and out and hospital staff repeatedly knocking the door, I barely got the privacy to be with her and sleep to my heart's content, but even in the mid of exhaustion I was enjoying this miracle by God. It was unbelievable to think that a tiny person came out of me and is already screaming, crying and gazing at me! Hospital staff was helpful but I was not discharged immediately as she had slight jaundice infection. Her photo light treatment started and she started screaming extremely loud due to inconvenience which broke my heart. A UV light was kept on top of her cradle, which helps in correcting the bilirubin levels. I came to know that years back people simply used to put the kids in sunlight and get the infection treated but now everything is monitored closely and is blown out of proportions. We couldn't deny the doctors and baby's safety was the most important thing at that point of time so our stay got extended and hospital bills doubled! It was a relief coming  back home and tasting the home made tea, food and even water after 5days. I stepped in to hospital at 3 A.M. on 10th Feb and stepped out in to day light on 15th Feb.

My entire family is supportive and my mom and husband are more than supportive. I cannot imagine my role as a mom with out them. I soon realized, this is not a job which I can do with perfection, single-handedly and need lot of training! Without my mom teaching me the basics of parenting and helping me out with each and every task I would definitely have felt handicapped. Without my husband burning the mid night oil along with me I would have been dead by now. I want to salute mothers, fathers and all those single parents who do all this with zero help! 
Feeding the baby, keeping her clean, maintaining hygiene, changing diapers, talking to her, calming her down and trying to understand different patterns of crying are the basic new parenting skills every one needs to have on their resume :) Even if we haven't excelled, we are doing a satisfactory job is what I feel. Having said that I did acquire few skills naturally. May be that is the  magic of parenting!

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Being a mother comes with other miscellaneous challenges like being put on pedestal by every Tom Dick and Harry forever, people questioning your parenting style, X,Y, Z giving some advice which gets added to the endless list of advises. Advice keeps pouring in from all directions. Some are worth listening and some are tiresome and all of a sudden everyone seems to be having an opinion about your choices. The first question which every one poses after delivery is, Is the baby being fed enough breast milk or if it is the bottle feed? :) At times I feel like taking a break from all this and just be myself and enjoy the solitude. That is when my family comes to rescue. Being a parent is definitely a miracle but I don't want to fake it by saying that every minute of it feels magical. You are stressed out, worried and always lost, specially when you are a first time mom.

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But ya when your baby smiles looking at you, then you ease a bit, when you see that your touch immediately calms her down you swell with pride and when you kiss her and feel energized you don't mind the stress you take!

My baby recently started smiling a lot, specially in the wee hours of morning and we all compete to hold her, just to look at those pure smiles free of the worldly stuff! Now I gotta go as it is the feeding time. My posts will just be anecdotes from tomorrow as I want to survive the challenge !