July 9th 2016 is a date I will always remember. I had a gut feeling that there was something different going on inside me from few weeks. I randomly did a home pregnancy test, like I used to do in the past months hoping to see those magical two lines. But this time I casually did the test, like a routine act to rule out the possibility but ... voila it came positive. I couldn't believe my eyes. As I was still sleepy at 3:30 A.M. in the morning, I rubbed my groggy eyes and looked at the test result, startled. I didn't know how to react, though I felt a jolt in stomach and performed a mental jig. More than excitement, I was worried because I heard home pregnancy tests are not always absolutely correct.
I woke up my husband and it was not really an announcement but a doubt I expressed, "This thing here, it came positive!"
|image source: here|
I still remember the way I told him and it feels quite funny now. He too was startled and I immediately questioned him, "What next?" He asked me to relax and that we will go to doctor for confirmation. I kept the tested device carefully in bag but did not talk to any one else other than my mom. She couldn't control her excitement but I asked her to be calm till we are sure about this. Morning 5 A.M, itself I whatsapped my doctor, silently thanking the boon called technology and networking, and sent images of the two pink lines! She was more elated than me but she also seemed to compose herself and told us to meet her, the first thing in the morning. Immediately after scan when she confirmed the pregnancy, I was super excited. I asked her 100 times, 100 questions, Are you sure ? Can we tell others ? Is every thing OK ? What should I do now?
First thing she told is, RELAX and that it just is the beginning and there is a long way to go. She told I might be 5-6 weeks pregnant and asked me to come for further scheduled scans and appointments and WARNED me to not reveal it to any, just yet. I was worried. The conversation with her was already stressing me out ! I just nodded , hoped and prayed that God should not play any cruel joke. I wished that everything should go smooth. As my family was facing some personal challenges and stress, I kept my fingers crossed and hoped that this tiny sparkle of happiness should enter our lives, brighten it and divert us for good. When she said, "Afshan, it is going to be a long journey," little did I know that it indeed is!
Initial excitement of pregnancy turned to a day to day challenge, as weeks and months grew. I was totally under the control of my changing body , hormones and mindset. There were weird thoughts, fears , dreams, vulnerabilities, tears and what not! All in all it indeed was and still is a roller coaster ride. When I came back home and announced it to mom-dad, my brother and in-laws I had the initial set of tears. I don't know if they were tears of happiness or if I was just overwhelmed and troubled but I was feeling a mix of so many things. I was really not feeling pregnant other than some odd queasiness, which you feel when you enter the examination hall a half hour late during your board exams or when you just have to face an interview which you really want to crack!
I sat down, letting it sink in, calmed my self and cooled down. As I was new at work place and not much conversational, I was not sure with whom I should share the news, so I did not. Some of my friends were elated and were jumping in joy which doubled my bliss but I later understood that folks around you will not necessarily be part of your happiness and high spirits, even if they seem quite friendly :).
I would be talking about other pregnancy challenges , some funny stories, about people, their opinions, unsolicited advice and miscellaneous stuff which happened in these 9 months, during my A to Z challenge. In between I may talk other random things too!
I am happy to announce on my blog that I gave birth to an angel on Feb 10th 2017 at 11:07 P.M. after a long eventful day. The contractions , the ordeal of pushing and the lingering feeling that I may die lasted for almost an entire evening :) I want to introduce my princess, "Zaara Parizaad Khan" to the blogging world and the muggle world too (I mean the non-writers;-)) in the below video:)
This video is made as part of her cradle ceremony invitation!
Introducing Baby Zaara
This is my first post for A to Z Challenge 2017 #atozchallenge
To be continued ...