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--- THE END--
TBC some other time when I feel grumpy again. So hopefully I dont want to get grumpy and continue this. Thanks a lot for bearing this post
As of now I feel like I am attaining inner peace which I can never attain like below;)
Have a great weekend
Relatives
Vs F(r)iends Vs Friends
What will you do when someone close to you suddenly stops
talking to you or behaves weird?
Why is it important to have at least one trust worthy Friend
all your life?
Disclaimer: The characters in this episode / Conversation snippet are fictional. Resembling any one alive or dead is quite possible as this cannot happen on a alien Land :) Dont mind the 60's names given to chatacters- Kamala and Vimala
Read on!
This is what I presently feel. Image courtesy : google |
Kamala saw Vimala and her friends in a shopping mall and calls her excitedly
and starts talking.
Kamala: “Hey Good to see you yar! Had to inform you this. We
are planning to go to Spain .I got an offer in my current project.”
Vimala (Cousin): Oh wow! (Trying hard to suppress the
anguish but it comes out glowing in the eyes even if she is grinning) .That’s
great. When is it?
Kamala : “In a month or so! I will let you know once
everything is decided.”
Vimala: “Ok! Cool. Hey We have to go to Gold shop before
they close. I will call you OK? Congrats by the way.”
Raji (friend) mailed her: Amazing! When? With whom? I Wish I
could also come. Let’s see in future. Send the pics once you start clicking
them :)
(She feels little jealous but it vanishes in a while. After all Raji and Kamy are friends from 10years)
(She feels little jealous but it vanishes in a while. After all Raji and Kamy are friends from 10years)
Priya (Friend on FB but actually a Fiend) comments on Kamala’s
FB status “Hola! Spain it is with” 40 + Likes and 20comments : OH U R damn
lucky ! Enjoying life Han!!
Kamy is busy with her travel arrangements and feeling dreamy
all the while so she doesn’t care who is saying what! She just informed all in
the typical FB way as later they will again complain and behave weird specially
Vimala and the cousin bros and sisters gang who will become judge- “mental” and
mark Kamy’s behavioural traits as proud , rude and selfish just by the fact she
didn’t inform her travel plans to
cousins/ aunts/ uncles and the rest from the same band(g)wagon! Even if the so called
relatives stay indifferent when it comes to informing their personal issues /
plans / decisions they expect any other fruit popped out of a different branch
in their family tree to show respect to all and inform each and every (T)aunt
their happenings in life. If you don’t you will be discussed like below in the
(T)aunt talks
Aunt A: “Oh that Kamy! She is so proud of her career that
she forgot to even tell that she is leaving India.”
My question is, why shouldn’t
she be proud of her achievements and
career and why the hell she has to inform Aunt A with out any fail when Aunt A
or her off springs don’t do the same!
Aunt B: “Really! Ya my daughter told she updated her status
on FB. It has become style statement these days. You got to be on FB if you
want to stay informed and connected.”
Aunt A: “It’s not an IRCTC enquiry to log in and know. Am
least bothered now. I am thinking to invite Kamy for Vimala’s wedding only
after the Mehndi and other rituals.”
B stays silent as she doesn’t want to cool down the fire. If
she wants she can persuade A but she is actually enjoying the only spice
element in her life. The crusade between Kamy and A is known to all from long!
Kamy is a successful IT consultant who recently got married
and got an amazing opportunity to travel to Spain and work there for 1year.
Husband is in good position too. Whilst her success was successful in pleasing
only handful of folks it failed in pleasing a good number of people among
relatives and so called friends circle.
3 weeks after her status update of Spain somewhere in Chennai
Raji opened her contacts in mobile and did not delay calling Kamy and
congratulating her.
Raji: “Hey Kamy! Congrats Madam. If I was in Hyderabad I
would have taken a treat at Oberoi or Taj Krishna ”
Kamy: “Oh come on darling! Such a huge treat for a short time opportunity.”
Raji: “So what if its short term! It’s an honour to go there.
Zindagi Na milegi Dobaara Yaar! You are
among very few people to go. Anyway do visit the Bull fighting and Tomatino festival
and also get goodies for us. I heard silk shawls and leather products are great there ;)”
Kamy : “wowowow ! A list already. Sure yaar! Thanks a lot. I
didn’t get time to call all, but you took the pain to call me.”
Raji: “Come on now! Don’t be melodramatic. If I was in your
place I would also have got busy. I understand you.”
Kamy :” Hmm!! I wish Vimala also understands me some times.”
Raji: “Now whats the issue with her? Leave her na yaar!”
Kamy : “She was not like this Raji. Competition between us
is invalid. We have grown up and are busy in our own lives but I don’t know who
plants these seeds of jealousy in her brain. You know what, all my cousins are
invited except me to Vimala’s wedding. She didn’t even inform about it. I am
not sure if I will be invited. The other day I called aunty to tell about my
Spain trip. She quipped saying Aunt B told her. I never specially informed Aunt
B. I don’t know what’s all this mess the relatives create.”
Raji: “Leave it na Yaar! Go if they invite or else leave it.
It’s not your mistake right? They don’t deserve your thoughts. They are just
jealous! You can never repair their polluted minds so just ditch them.”
Kamy :” If you say so, but it definitely feels awkward when
I go to any wedding or function and I have to face them. It definitely hurts without
any mistake from my side.”
Raji : “There are many such people Kamy! Just see my cousin
Lalitha. She is still angry with me by the fact that I took lead in another
cousin Suresh’s wedding. Now what can I do yaar. I am in to event management so
they obviously took my help!”
Kamy : “Hmm. Dont know what can be done about such occurrences.
Either we should behave dumb and disinterested in such events or we should
totally go in to hibernation.”
Raji: “No need of doing anything like that. NO NEED TO
SACRIFICE YOUR SHARE OF FUN due to some fools.”
Kamy : “hmm! Thanks Yaar. I always feel light when I talk to
you. I wish you were my cousin.:)”
Raji: “Nah nah! Please. If I was your cousin I may have got
more jealous than Vimala by your spain trip, your beauty , your husband and
what not :P. So this suits me better.”
Kamy : “ My God. Stop mocking me and do you think you can really
be like that?”
Raji : “Who knows re? It’s always good to be not blood
related and stay friendly.”
Kamy: “hmm! May be. Ok , I gotta go. Some meeting. I only
have a week left for travel, so finishing many things.”
Raji: “YA! GOOD LUCK
TO U and do think of great time ahead. Don’t populate your brain with dump.”
Kamy : “ji hazoor. Chal bye.”
Raji : “Adios!”
Kamy : “hahhaha. Adios amigo!”
Kamy was sent an email invitation after a month. A week
later Kamy called Vimala to wish her on the D- Day. Aunty took the phone and
gave a crisp reply: “She is busy.”
Kamy : “ Oh ! Can you please tell me when she will be free
aunty? “
Aunt A: “Not sure beta. I will convey my wishes to her and
ask her to call you when she is free.”
Kamala cut the phone letting out a sigh. Kamala’s parents couldn’t
participate happily in all the wedding events due to the way Kamala was treated
by A. As Kamala’s mom was not active another distant aunt C took the lead which
surprised the audience and the band(g)wagon of the groom’s side! The ambience
was unpleasant which was noticeable to all!
Somehow the wedding finished leading to fresh silly quarrels,
fights , complaints and verbal arguments among relatives and you can say in a way Kamy was fortunate enough to
miss all the mess and happily enjoy the Tomatino ! Vimala never called Kamala.
Time flew and Vimala gave birth to twins. They both are in touch on FB giving
importance to their egos and remembering to never call each other. Priya continued
pasting her weird comments on FB and liking Kamy’s pics . Kamy even forgot how
she met Priya but just restricted her as she was not sure deleting would be a
good idea! Raji is still in touch and they both discuss what’s happening and
not happening in life. Kamy is coming back to India and it was Raji who was
there at airport along with Kamy’s mom dad and bro to receive her. Kamy’s
friends met her and they all had excited conversations over many cups of coffee
and tons of Hyderabadi chicken biryani. Kamy is all stuffed and happy but the
lacuna of her relatives staying indifferent haunts her!
This is just a speck in the bountiful jealousies, quarrels, misunderstandings,
mishaps relatives and some friends have between them. The thing which troubles
me is how do people get so jealous at your events / success / intelligence /
earnings and every possible thing? It’s good to yearn for something and use it
as a stepping stone for progress but the never ending comparative analysis? What
about it? Isn’t this a never ending pain in Ass! The so called family relations
and the people who aid in the fights. Kamy is fairer than Vimala. Kamy is
smart. Vam! The cold war has started even before Kamy and Vamy can even
recollect when it all started! These people who act like “brawl-aids” piss me
off. I can fall down to their levels and make the messier affair much dirtier to
take revenge but I just can’t make it happen! And wedding is all together a
Bollywood movie may be the Karan Johar kind , very long and with many unwanted
twists!
- · One person has complaints that he/she is ill treated in a wedding just because they were not asked twice to have dinner.
- · The other has a complaint that he was not given the lead role he being the eldest.
- · One more has a complaint that she was not invited properly so she didn’t attend.
- · One has issue with some cuisine and says it spoiled the wedding aura!
- · One cousin has an issue that the girl on her D- Day didn’t give her the role of bride’s maid.
In all this hullabaloo people who just have special appearances get the
lead role!
If wedding is a movie it’s never a box office
hit in India. It always gets mixed views, reviews and revenues!
PHEW! Wedding is such a costly but not so pleasing event in
India.
As time runs you get more complaints and witness more
jealousies than appraisals in post wedding days!
But there are few GOD sent angels / cousins called “FRIENDS”
who always have no complaints and no regrets. They are always glad to be a part
of your most important day of life, raise a toast for you and raise your
spirits. Of course not all f(r)iends stay happy. I have seen people whose faces
fall down when a bride’s beauty is praised. There are many categories in jealousy!
So when someone suddenly stops talking to you and starts
behaving weird making the scene awkward for you just walk off or ignore!
I still am not sure if I can do it taken the long-time relations
I have with many but I can definitely say keep happy people around as grouches
pull you down and I prefer to keep friends and relatives who don’t have complex
feelings around me. It’s very tough as none is simple. Even I am complex in a
way! People say I think a lot and make them think ;)
I only wish to control my emotions and not feel bad when someone
is wicked / indifferent / unhappy with anything good happening to me!
I definitely can’t please everyone and I have stopped trying
to do so long back. The below image which was circulated fervently on Fb few
days back suits me!
courtesy : Someecards. I love their cards:) |
--- THE END--
TBC some other time when I feel grumpy again. So hopefully I dont want to get grumpy and continue this. Thanks a lot for bearing this post
As of now I feel like I am attaining inner peace which I can never attain like below;)
Have a great weekend
That was a good one Afshan. It is really a very common thing in many people's lives.
ReplyDeleteYou know when I got shortlisted for Infosys, I was the only one from my class and I felt sad that my classmates/friends did not get selected and also got little scared that what if they get jealous and don't be friendly with me.
Anyway, there was this one girl Lavanya who was more happy for me than being sad for herself. She alone stayed with me when everyone else left after the results. I was amazed seeing that and wished her a million good things in my heart. I learnt what is being selfless or what is true friendship then, it really made me better and I began appreciating people.
And about relatives ? The lesser said the better. :-P
@Jazz : I can understand.
ReplyDeleteSame scenes happened to me too. Some times when I succeeded be it a rank or medal in school or my first job there were people in my relatives who mouthed congrats as if its a cuss word. LOL! Then I used to feel bad but now I feel it all funny!
Ya friends are always better than Few cousins(I wont say all) coz friends even though they have competition they dont compare themselves with U 24 * 7 . Its a relief. I never got a job in my college. Many of my friends got. I was genuienly happy for them even though I was sad for my self. am from biotech. They r from other branches so there is no scope for getting jealous but MANY DONT Understand that and compare anything and every thing happening in their life with yours!
Am not saying every one is truly happy even among friends but relations with them are always better than with cousins.
Thanks for ur elaborate comment :)
Oh well.. Peer wars are so very common in every family.
ReplyDeleteMany times, the the comparisons that elders draw is what brings animosity between cousins or family friends.
But for me,I am generally least bothered as to what relatives think (Thanks to my dad who inculcated this attitude in me :) )so it saves me a lot of pain honestly. :D
@Mystic : Peers are very common in family and not so un common among friends! I know many people who act as friends and easily get jealous and I have written many posts with respect to that on infy blogs :P
ReplyDeleteYa elders are quite foolish many a times !I was never bothered till recent past. Now I was little hurt hence this post :) but when I look back I laugh at few things.May be this blog will also make me laugh in future :)
Even My parents inculcated the same attitude in me hence I never had any open rebukes / hatred atleast with in family but at times when some people irritate U till your patience level reaches the brim U pour it on blog ;P I mean I POUR IT:)
Thanks for visiting my blog and giving ur view!
Keep reading
thnku
and by the way all events in this article did not 'happen' to me. Few r just guessed !:)
ReplyDeleteGud one dear... It made me remember my past as well as present situations in my life... :) Getting married to a nice person is also jealous... I think, thy shud feel happy abt tht bcoz our girl is gng to a nice family but people r jealous bcoz my mother in law is gud.... wht a joke indeed... so i stopped saying anything of my family to them.... I feel more comfortable with my frnds to share anything... but wid relatives haaa its like a war-field... Anywaz this is a routine story for every1.... Hope atleast the next generations make some difference...:)Keep rocking wid ur articles.... i jus love the way u bring thm up... :) Good luck... :)
ReplyDelete@Jyotsna : Looking at the kind of comments/ pings /feedback am getting am glad I wrote this. I was lil hesitant initially :)
ReplyDeleteGood to see almost all sail in the same boat. Dukhon ko baatna bhi zarroori hai as they become funny ultimately !
Ya there r many who wish U also become lil sad and dont get better things than them. Its tough to repair them. Only help we can do to next generations is asking them to keep happy people around and avoid too much comm with sick minds :) and ignore any kinda arguments!
Thanks for ur comment.
Keep reading
hahaha!! you hit the nail on the head with this one. Its so true, and you seem to have researched the emotions quite well!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the Spicy pick!
@Nirvana: Thanks a lot for taking time and commenting. It actually boosted me :)
ReplyDeleteNot really a research just few happenings :P in and around me
Thanks for wishes....
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