Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Dear Crush(es)

Dear Huge Crush,

What was it that pulled me towards you ? Was it your writing style ? your neat hair cut? big eyes ? chiseled body? You and me liking the same books? Harry potter topping our lists? What was it that made me chat with you hours together and I yearned for more and more of it ? I can't round on one strong reason which increased my liking towards you :) You came in to my life when work was routine, bench (which means having no work in a software company) ruled my days and blogging became an everyday activity. Thanks to writing which made me feel you are a kin. I can never forget those silly e-mails which we wrote every day which had anything and everything under the sky and some times nothing too! Our topics ranged from what you had in break fast to discussing the complicated love stories of the campus! I cherished those mails.

Do you remember our first meet after many offline and faceless conversations?! I was having butterflies the size of buffaloes in my stomach but it all went smoothly and I was the one who calmed you when you said you were feeling odd to meet me and my friend. I knew I was not in love and I knew our story was just a simple, silly one which has no beginning or an end but unfortunately you did end it and how! I still cannot forget the consequences after our first meet. A dear friend hinted me that I am being silly and I had no slightest chance to be your "special interest", "crush" or whatsoever it is. Thanks to her. She imbibed sense in me and showed me proofs which neatly burst the bubble of my imagination :) But one thing I never understood is, why were you such a sissy ? Why did you suddenly stop talking to me after that day and after having too many conversations? Why did not you happily admit that you had a thing for some one else and just because of that you won't be able to talk normally with so many other friends around you? I am not your elder sister or mother to object. I would have appreciated the fact more if you just disclosed it to me, like you do it to friends. C'mon, it is not a bollywood movie to shed tears or sing sad songs. Once you started ducking and hiding and avoiding, in a minute everything vanished - the good feeling , warmth, charm and everything. I came to know about your secrets which you were trying very hard to keep under the wraps but most of your secrets became open. Thanks to the endless efforts of few people- I always came to know them :) I feel good that rest of the less known secrets remained secrets (of course my imaginations do soar high when I think about them).

By the end of the last and the brief encounter with you, I realized that crushes are good only when we don't have any expectations and for sure know the limitations that nothing is gonna brew between us. For instance my forever crush - Shahrukh Khan- I was never disappointed by him. Nagarjuna- my child hood crush, Tom Hanks (one more big crush but I hate him for You have got a mail movie which made me extra mushy), Robert Langdon (A bookish crush), Bradley Cooper,Harry potter, Fred/ George Weasley, K.K., A.R. Rahman - the list will go on and I keep renewing it. They always come to my rescue on a crappy day. There are many men other than the celebrities who possess one or the other inspiring quality in them but it is always good to admire them from a distance.  When you get more near to them It is not easy to catch the thin line between crush-mush and friendship. Before deleting I checked that we have exchanged exactly 100 e-mails. The e-mail exchange seems like the silliest thing to do, when I think of it now. I wish you don't behave like a sissy and come out in open when you choose the love of your life. I am 100% sure that you have already chosen one! I wish you and the chosen one live happily ever after.

You do know I crack pathetic jokes. Today's PJ is playing candy crush is better than having you as my crush :P As and end note, for the sake of old days I dedicate you the note below. This is what I ultimately feel about you :)
image source : here




PS: I Loathe you.  
   Afshan.

I am participating in the 30 Days Letter Challenge where you write one letter each day. The second in the list is a letter to Your Crush’.

16 comments:

  1. Aww! This portrays your feelings so awesomely :)
    It was a happy read though. The bad thing about crushes is, you sometimes lose the friend you had before. But, nevertheless :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for being the first one to comment ;) ya that is the bad thing abt crushes like u said

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  2. Umm....I know this one or I think I do. But, lady my seals are lipped! Crushes are crushes dude, our imagination is like real books and they are like the movie versions of it. Books are always far better.

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    1. :D :D ya better to shut our mouths and seal the lips. That last line of ur comment is just WOW- So true ! "our imagination is like real books and they are like the movie versions of it. Books are always far better."

      YOU SHOULD PATENT THAT LINE

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  3. Sometimes our crush turns into "missed connection" because we never opened our mouth to express.

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    1. And sometimes there is no need of words. We never actually spoke that may be we shud stop talking :P
      that awkwardness still persists. Me being too expressive tried to open MY MOUTH but at times it involuntarily gets closed as our expressions depend on the opposite party's reactions :)
      Thanks for reading as always SG

      Delete
  4. Ha ha, so true. Reminds me of my teenage crush. Those crushes were so silly.

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    1. But I was not in my teenage :( I guess it took a lot of time for me to become sane or may be am still insane
      God knows :P
      Thanks Alka

      Delete
  5. ha ha! Cute post Afshan. I had a similar friend in Infy who I first made freinds with through communicator and emails and later we met. But, we are still friends :)

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    1. I hope it is not the same person. LOL !
      I wish we remained friends too but there was a third party involved which destroyed the great bond I guess :P There were good trials so that we maintain a distance - LONG ONE between us :) It is a different story - may be some other day on my blog as a fiction entry ;)

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  6. Ha ha ! So true. Crushes are strong feelings though which captures the adolescent heart in its grasp. Of course,there have been instances when the crush becomes crushed after hearing the person speak.. sigh..

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  7. Nice to know abt your Crush. And that note at the end is just bang on. You are so right!

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  8. So there was no rush in your 'Crush' ..well written and special mention of the PJ in the PS :)

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  9. I so loved your pj at the end. Playing Candy Crush is better than having you as my crush. Hahaha. I think I heard this one. ;)
    I love what Nandana said about imagination being like books and reality like movie versions. Cool!

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  10. Well said... Liked the closing lines...
    And PJ rocks!!! :)

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  11. Most crushes are like that. Very well expressed Afshan :)

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What do you think about this ? I always love to hear back. A comment or a brickbat boosts me to write more but the mud slinging shall be promptly vacuumed.

Thanks for your time :)

Death

Death - when it knocks the door.. Would you even get a chance to understand what's in-store? Death - when it knocks the door... Will you...