Netflix and Chill

Netflix became an integral part of my life specially during Covid. I can't thank OTT platforms enough for being the much needed outlets during this new normal. There are many platforms but Netflix is smooth and the best! Even if it feels like there is an entire day to myself if I subtract working hours , daughter hours and other miscellaneous hours - I get very less time to explore new series, movies which continuously are getting streamed on OTT platforms. I love going back to 90s and early 2000s timeline and watch reruns of some favorite shows and series. They act as stress busters to me during tough days. In my post today I recommend my three fav sitcoms/series and have written a blurb for each. 

FRIENDS

(Created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman)

I never gave Friends a chance and when I finally gave it , I regretted just after two episodes thinking how come I missed it all these decades. In school days I was little when it got relayed and may not have understood it much and in our small town we did not have many cable channels as well. However I felt gleeful  that I gave in to the temptation of Friends! I first watched in 2014/2015 and in Pandemic I may have watched FRIENDS whenever I felt low. It just kept me going. The day to day mundane things, emotional and even heartbreaking events are shown in a lighter tone in this show - which gives the feeling that nothing's gonna stop the ongoing life. Every one's demons, personal and professional problems are shown in a raw and realistic manner with a dash of humor! 

You feel good by just seeing how Chandler gets bored in his office or how Phoebe sings whatever may be her lyrics, how Joey just enjoys all his food or how Monica is so organized, makes her passion her profession , how sensitive Ross is or how beautifully Rachael progresses in life. However for a normal person like me in India or to that matter any person in any corner of the  world, it is very tough to live for a decade with the bestest friends and to not give a damn about the  rest of the world. However fictitious this set up may be, it is uplifting. It helps you sail across your sea of emotions.  I actually cried while watching the last episode (for the first time)! It is not an exaggeration if I say F.R.I.E.N.D.S. changed my life for good. It was my savior in Covid.

GILMORE GIRLS

I finished watching the famous Gilmore Girls series recently …all the old ones including the 2016 revival one (life in an year). The series which ran from 2000 to 2007 is a warm, fuzzy and, feel good watch compared to all the latest racy content in Netflix where either a psycho is killing, a zombie is killing, a gangster is killing and there is killing and more killing. If you want to put your mind to rest and feel better you can definitely watch this good old show. There are all kinds of bonds and emotions embedded  in the show... the mother, daughter, grandma, grand daughter...bond of best Friends, worst enemies and so on...with sufficient amounts of quirks and laughs. Lorelai and Rory are unforgettable characters. The stubborn passion they possess to achieve their goals and the book reading enthusiasm of Rory would inspire you!

As I have a daughter too I felt more connected to their bonding. At times it is an explosion of too many words but if you are wordy when you talk (like me😛), you will love it. Later I realized that the series is created by Amy  Sherman-Palladino, produced by Daniel- Palladino - the makers of another fav show The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel . 

BIG BANG THEORY

Created by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, this series is just unmissable. A beautiful girl Penny (Kaely Cuoco) moves across the hall from two nerdy physicists - Sheldon Cooper and Leonard Hofstadter. They have only two more friends Howard Wolowitz and Rajesh Koothrapalli. The series is a laughter riot. Sheldon is ultra hyper, highly organized , extremely intellectual germaphobe, Leonard is a calm genius who is pining for Penny but unable to woo her initially. 

Man's Search for Meaning - Review

This is the only book I read during Covid. I some how couldn't manage finishing it in a period close to 2 years. Yes that's how my reading habit deteriorated but I managed to finish reading this book recently. This is the only book I read about life in Nazi Concentration camps. The book in a very balanced tone explains the living conditions of people, suffering, the psychology, understanding their mind, logotherapy and so on.

The entire premise of the book revolves around the fact - "

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

I am glad I picked this book during Covid - a crisis time, when a will to be active and be happy was actually quite less (funnily this is the reason I couldn't finish the book all these days). As I understood the atrocities of the Nazi camp during WWII, I felt a kind of shame that I can do better than what I was doing.  Victor Frankl himself is a neurologist, psychiatrist and a holocaust survivor - hence his analysis and tips work like magic. If nothing they induce optimism and some hope in you when you feel defeated in life! His theory of Existential Analysis is so unique and made me realise why some people behave how they do . Existential therapy/ analysis helps a person find a way to live by giving inner consent to their own actions. In a way it is an affirmation of life!

In such dire situations where you have so much uncertainty about what would happen the next moment - whether you would move to a better group or die in a gas chamber, gathering so much strength feels impossible but the author says that even in such dreadful moments - one can overcome it by training the mind, by thinking of the future and the people who would be waiting and by just imagining them in their best self. The living conditions of camp, the typhus patients, the conversations, their high - low spirits and deaths are intricately explained!

source : here

The last two chapters of the book - Logotherapy and Tragic Optimism are also explained quite logically and would even work as a basic guide for any psychotherapist as it gets little technical. Some of the events in the book like how you would feel happy by just getting an extra piece of bread, how your watery soup with 2-3 more peas would make your day, how you become thick skinned to the authorities' lashings, punishments and learn to survive - go to show that even in severe conditions you can choose your attitude! People were treated so brutally that they start feeling less human like. In extreme situations when you feel there is no way out,  whatever the author writes helps you to sail through the horror!

“But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.”

The book is so unique as the person who suffered wrote transparently about that suffering and how you can try and overcome it - No words minced. If you really want to find a meaning, hope and optimism in life - I recommend you this book. On reading and knowing the lives of those brave men and women of Auschwitz camp you will learn a lesson or two. There are so many atrocities happening every day, some happen openly and some don't make it to the headlines of TV or newspapers. I hope all such people come out of suffering some day and renew their lives!.

L for Lockdown

At first when it started, precisely on March 22, 2020 - it was all fun. "Staying at home and working! Is this happening for real?" I wondered. "A virus outbreak - so what? It cant spread that quickly as the patients would be quarantined!" - is what I thought. When lockdown was announced, I felt glad that there won't be run of the mill activities at home. I can be at home, avoid travel, and work at my own pace. Little did I know the gravity of Corona life or impact of lockdown then. 

When my 3+ year old daughter threw the acrylic paint on the bed and started making many modern arts on the walls - I realised that the "LOCKDOWN" is for everyone and every thing and I need to be equipped to deal with it all. In a desperate attempt to shoo the corona away, I too banged the thali (we banged plates, lit the lamps and performed many other tricks)…but Corona was not a sneaky cat to be shooed. It is a stealthy parasite that was as monstrous as the dementor, sucking the happiness out of us! As the monstrosity exponentially increased every day and complete lockdown was announced - the first and foremost mind numbing thought was  -"The maids" not visiting the houses anymore. I always had complaints on maid, that she doesn't sweep the corners properly or leaves the coffee marks in cups - and I have to wash them again, but when she completely stopped coming... I started sensing how tough a maid's job is. 

I had a new found respect on my maid however imperfect her job may be! I can live with that stain in the "kadhai (cooking vessel)" and dust speckle at the bed corner but I cannot do what all my maid does - was my first and foremost self-revelation! So in mid of the whirring of washing machine, banging of the kitchenware, whistling of the pressure cooker, electronic beeps of the microwave oven, and pings of the Office communicator, I started working... and doing it all. 

Situation during the first 21 day lockdown felt something like this

The trends followed by Netizens like making Dalgona coffee, or playing online Housie didn't amuse me. I wanted the normalcy to be back. I was in the the first stage of the Acceptance cycle, which is "Denial" and refused to enjoy any bit of the Lockdown. From anger, I moved to bargaining, then depression, and then in a month I slowly moved towards "acceptance". I accepted that this is how life is going to be for a while and we started dividing maid duties between us at home. 

The Famous Lockdown Dalgona Coffee

 Maid Training - Key takeaways:

 The key takeaways from my self-made maid training are as follows: 

•  A good habit which I inculcated during "self made Maid-Training" is to wash a coffee cup or a tiny spoon which I use immediately, without postponing the activity. That way the most painful task of cleaning the utensils felt much easier! 

• Teaching the kid few itsy bitsy activities like folding her own bedsheet or clothes and arranging them in cupboard (though the implementation completely depended on kid's mood swings).

• The less utensils you use, the less you clean. I realized I can use just one plate and one spoon and still manage a whole day. If you don't dirty the home much, you don't have much to clean :) 

            Note: However if you have toddlers at home, be sure that the mess making would be perennial.

•  As home became school, and home became office - I bought some mini dustbins which would help in avoiding the littering around. 

•  Last but not the least lesson was to accept my shortcomings as a maid and work towards the betterment :) 

Kindergarten in Covid

When I did schooling, preschool was termed as lower and upper Kindergarten. When people were saying PP1 and PP2 in my daughter's school, I was clueless at first. I later realised that PP means Pre Primary and they are equivalent to LKG and UKG!

She joined play group at the age of 2.2 and after almost an year, the pandemic hit. In initial months I didn't even think about her schooling. As we entered June and when we realized corona is here to stay, it slowly started sinking that schooling would be online. "What a disaster it is to get started with her actual academics online!!?!" I thought. I work as a technical writer...and my job demands lot of time, meetings, coordination and, writing of course! All the mentioned activities need my vigilance and utmost concentration. In the online school set-up I had to dedicate myself for 2 plus hours every day to sit along with daughter, make her get used to that mode of teaching and most of the times actually teach her. Kids of her age (she was 3.4 when she entered LKG) are physically very active and dynamic.  They won't sit at one place.

Making such kids sit in chair staring at screen for hours felt like a torture! For atleast a quarter of the academic year my daughter made me study LKG😐. Along with English and numbers, they had pre-math concepts, little General knowledge and basic sciences. She was so bored by online mode that she used to wander around which made me highly irritable! 

"Mamma I will write with marker instead of pencil!" "Mamma su su...(bathroom)!", "Mamma potty!" - some how everything happens as soon as class starts! "Mamma can I get the slate and draw!" "Mamma I wanna do just the activity!"

"Mam I am bored. Can we paint or dance?" "Mam what is your favorite color/breakfast," "Mam my mom is killing me!" - ya she once said even this to her teacher, much to every ones' amusement, but I wanted to go hide in a cave! She was and is quite conversational though and always wants to talk and mingle with kids even if virtually... which is a good sign! While all this disinterest  and demands to do things her own way continued...I had no other way out than to step down, sacrifice my work a bit by being flexible with timings (I work till mid of nights on many working days) and become a full time preschool teacher to my daughter!

As I did things with enthusiasm, I saw a lot of change in her and she started getting adapted to school. Slowly she wanted to write - if not on paper, first on slate... if disliking the pencil then may be with pen...but she felt inclined towards writing as I let out a sigh of relief! I was so glad to see her scribbling A , B, C, D even if askew! She started enjoying the process. Doesn't mean I had a chance to leave the online 🏫 school zone. I always had to accompany her.

LKG initial days

I got cards and charts which would help her with learning. The numbers , small words, seasons , days and many other charts indeed were so helpful! My living room turned class room has all charts plastered on walls. People who come to my house may get confused that I am running a preschool. That's how much I had to transform my living room to pique interest in the baby!

J for Juggling

The rooster 🐓 croons, 🐦 pigeon coos and the sparrow chirps!

Oh! It's another day... what day is it? And what may be the date?

I neither can track the time, nor can I track the weeks!

The months come one after the other as I put up chunks of fat in my cheeks!

"Do I have to wake up?" was the uncertainty I had on most of the days!

Just to get on with the day, I needed to invent so many ways...

"Wake up mamma! I need choco milk," echoes a booming voice.

Reluctantly I get up, remembering my 9-5 job that pays!

source : here

Milk tumbler in a hand, tea in another. I tend to the daughter who manages to be "The Flash!"

As the washing machine vibrates, making the racket of a sound...

I suddenly get a thought to write...something very profound!

But I haven't written in ages. The blog with all drafts, is buried in the ground!

As I start working, I hear a shrilly cry in my ear.

I say sorry and mute my conference call, only to learn - her painting page had a tear!

I go back to work with half mind, with daughter always ruling my time.

The new normal is for one and all, your struggle's not worth a dime!

Spacing out, lethargy and, the feeling to do nothing became a frequent routine.

The suggestions didn't help much - Vitamin c, multi vitamin supplements or the protein!

"Depression"- some labelled it so. Is it only due to Covid or was it dormant from long?

Is the new life a reason that it surfaced so strong!?

As I got used to the indoor life at a snail's pace,

I saw that many were productive and were running a race!

To me day after day it felt like life is stuck in a forever limbo...

I hoped for better times while watching and hearing the Covid induced jingo!

The crawling of the 🐜 ants, biting of  a🦟 mosquito and the nimble cockroach 🪳.

Never did I observe the nooks and crannies of my home so much!

As I juggle between work, home, school, daughter, everything in between four walls on a spree.

I imagine myself sitting by the sea, sipping a tea, watching a sunset and breathing it free!

I for Instagram

I was never really a fan of Instagram when it first started. I was a novice who didn't even knew what to do or write there. I remember someone tutoring me in mid of 2012 about how to use hashtags and how I can tag, checkin the location etc. I used to upload flowers, tourist spots I visited, cooking pics and such once in a blue moon when I was in Delhi after my wedding!

Just the day before I entered labor, I vividly remember uploading a pic of mom and me just reviving the memories. 

Pic I uploaded before my delivery day

Little did I know that I was gonna deliver the next day. Once I had Zaara, Instagram worked for me as a great platform to upload all her snapshots, record her memories, milestones and much more! However I made my account private as a safety measure. I feel to have the space for myself and few friends! Even now when ever I am little stressed I love browsing through my own Instagram page. It makes me feel the troubles are worth it and the events I could log there are my treasure trove!

From sharing the pics of diapers, Johnson n Johnson oil indicating baby's arrival, to sharing the dance and non-dance videos of Zaara, I have shared so many tid bits of both motherhood and daughterhood .Instagram acted a magical tool to save and revive my life's moments! I slowly lost interest in facebook and migrated to here. As we entered Covid - Instagram became my go to place, a virtual hangout where I can bump in to few like minded folks, authors, favorite actors, comedians and so on. Every one seemed to have an Instagram profile!

In Covid a RJ turned stand up comedian, a content creator, also an actor Danish Sait (@danishsait)became my most favorite. His videos were sure to make me laugh out loud. He singly plays multiple hilarious characters. The trauma of covid and many other news elements were captured by him quite comically! Go to his page. You won't regret! He just uses some silly props as telephone or hair (for women characters) and starts conversations between all the characters. It is not an exaggeration if I say he kept my spirits intact with his hilarious short videos through out COVID lockdowns. Read more about him here --  TOI article.

As we got locked up in homes, it was like I was seeing every one in the rectangular frame of mobile I was holding. I was not sure whether to be happy or sad. A part of me was happy as we can still be in touch and as I am completely unsocial - Covid or No Covid. Another part of me was - upset as so many peoples' lives, healths (general healths) and professions and, incomes were getting effected. I started following many instagram pages just to not lose touch with the world! I started reading only the highlights of news by genuine reporters like Faye D' Souza on instagram. Her news is crisp, clear and just has the needed details. Rather than digging deep in to the news and getting depressed, this helped me to panic less.

H for Horror

I love watching horror movies even if I put that pillow over my eyes, pinch a person sitting next to me or myself but I just make sure I watch them. It is all exciting when I watch them but in a later point of time when I have to be alone at home, it scares the hell out of me. Every moment feels eerie and suspicious. Following are few real life moments I faced which made me think that may be ghosts/spirits exist!

Scene 1:

I call my physiotherapist whenever my cervical pain shoots up...We know each other from many years and naturally we end up chatting a lot. She was/is my savior during miserable pain episodes specially in COVID times. Anyhow in the second guest bed room where I work, I  hear a faint rocking chair noise coming from the walls once in a while. It's quite a hollow noise as if an old swinging chair is being used. I ignored many times and we even had a discussion in apartment WhatsApp group to understand what it is...but everyone said they can't hear the sound. My husband and I even joked that this is Lockdown side-effect and we are listening too much to everything at home. One day the sound was coming as always (there is no special timing) but my physio noticed the sound and told it's eerie isn't it? I said nowadays always when we sit for session it's starting....and we laughed! As and when I told that, the sound pitch increased and we were both super scared IN REAL. It stops intermittently and then starts. This happened 2-3 times. Whenever we sit for physio in that room the sound starts. I just couldn't get used to it. It was an irritable sound. It comes even in the late night hours. I slowly learned to ignore it. Some how on one fine day the sound stopped. It could have been a cradle , rocking chair, a swinging chair or just some rats or worms making sounds, but whatever it was...it did make us uneasy!

source : here

Scene 2:

Babies are adorable, their coo coos and toothless smiles warm the heart instantly but the way they look at nothing,  point and smile, talk, will remind you all possible horror stories you read, heard or watched. There have been many moments when I am alone with Zaara... and her random imaginary friends made me squirm (thanks to all the movies I watch).

This happened recently. One night my husband went to a late night wedding reception. Zaara was doing her thing and I was absorbed in some daily chores. The light in the last room starts rapidly blinking. I try not to think about it and keep folding clothes, hoping to finish it in a jiffy and run to the daughter in the hall for some courage.

That's when she comes running to me speaking in a fearful voice..."There is one more girl in the hall maa...come see!"

She is so pleased to see me almost shitting my pants and instantly laughs off pointing at that one more girl - Gaby - a cartoon character in Netflix.

I breathe normal again, shout my lungs out and she rolls laughing. I also realise that the blinking smart bulb was due to some glitch in Alexa with which it is associated (I hate smart homes). Even if it's just bulb malfunction and daughter's prank, I had heart in my mouth as the unsettling feeling didn't go!