Its all about Crush and Reality!!!

I entered in to office the first day with little confusion anxiety and excitement .After the formalities were done Rajan My Project manager introduced me to the new team which included many people quite seniors to me and much more experienced than me.
"My name is Shifali just back from training and this is my first project".People surrounding me gave a vague smile. Saying so i turned to the person seated next to me hoping i catch a glimpse of some known face or atleast a person with similar experience like me!!!Thankfully the girl seated fourth in the row said the same "Madhavi ...Fresher and first project " I felt light as there were bunch of guys and girls who were freshers..After that introduction round we all went to pantry for a round of coffee and a brief chat. When we were in pantry a tall fair handsome bloke not a macho though bubbling with a kind of enthusiasm and energy came to the typical water cooler in pantry where I was drinking water. I coudnt resist staring at him!! He gave a broad smile wearing glasses as thick as mine..but everything on him looked THE BEST...He waved hi and left abruptly as some one called him "Rohan". The name got registered in my BRAIN-Database immediately.I instantly liked the name!!

Soon the entire unit and people from various projects gathered in the U -Conference room to discuss the plans for some event. Activities and competitions to be held as a part of it..I was amused to see that Rohan is in the group of people who organise events.I thought WOW MY KIND. Spectacled rohan looked in my direction and told "New joinees are very much welcome to participate in any of the competitions" I gave my name for Anthakshari, Dumb-c and creative writing competitions.I could see Rohan was fun frolic guy who can mingle with the group easily and quite famous in the whole unit. He came out and called me "Ah! Shifali right??New name!! What does it mean?" I told as if am challenging "try finding it out!"His eyes glew with interest and in a style he told "Okai"!Well first day was not all that bad===== that too with Rohans entry and he actually speaking to me (Am i dreaming!!no am not)

Next day he came and told he couldnt google meaning for the name Shefali as the net was down.I was amazed by his interest and thought may be am cute enough to make the guys feel interested in me.!I smiled and told shefali means a flower!!He added me on Messenger(where we can chat). Rohan Ranjit Roy.Heavy name i felt. With growing joy added him and that was only the start of never ending conversations, petty quarrels and what not!!!He asks me many times to just have a chat for a while or just a cup of coffee for 5min in pantry or if nothing works a request to send a forward mail to him as he is deadly bored!!Timings hardly match as we work with different teams. If he doesnt see me one day in office he would question me the next day when he meets "IDD KAA CHAAND HOGAI HO AAP".3months down the line we became good buddies sharing our common interests like Harry Potter, Music , Poetry Books !!There were many commmon things poetry on top of all. Of all the interactions we had the best one was a quarrel coz of the spoof mail i sent riddiculing harry potter and he was pissed off on receiving it.He mailed me back Saying I should feel shame for such an act that too being a hard core harry potter fan...:-X!

I tried talking to him to tell thats its just a funny Fwd!But HE DIDNT FLINCH. Didn’t talk to me for 2--3days And i brought even my EGO Out by staying silent but getting irritated on each and every thing which irritated madhu immensely.Then one day when he was going home to Kolkata he came and told "OK Sorry!Talk to me" was it an order , apology or plea I Was confused.I said "never mind! get lost!!" he got lost immediately.I realised this person wants immediate reactions and gets pissed off easily if he doesnt get them. Some how i liked even the rude conversation we had.But i could have told bye!! How rude of me??Now i dont know when he will return. Searched and added him on orkut hoping to get a scrap back. Rohan was in my fans list the very next daY!!:)How could i control the over whelming joy. He said he will bring rasgulla from home for me.That day he has to return to Office when we had an unfortunate bomb blast in the city!!He normally hangs out with friends on weekends.. I Was praying he stayed at home!or he hasnt reached YET!I never was so panicky in my life not even when i screwed up my exam nor when the results were out!I cursed myself for not taking his phone number.I reached office by the first bus the next day and enquired about him but in vain.Madhuri who was observing all this turned to me and said "Cool down! HE would be fine.U also stay here..Did he enquire about U?Y do u worry so much"

I told ,"Come on He might have come just yesterday and theres a very fair chance for him to roam out with friends !not me..who should be more worried"??!

Madhu:"Whatever i dont like this!!!!!" i smiled broad when Rohan entered but there were suddenly a group of people standing in between discussing the bomb blast!As we coudnt talk proper I shouted unreasonably loud "Rohan ! when did u come ?"to draw attention towards me.He walked towards me shook my hands and still holding them told "yesterday evening and am fine!"Our eyes met and the feeling was amazing!I was happy excited by his stupid reassurance though 100% ALIVE rohan was standing in front of me.Madhu hated all this.She warned me telling "see boys just pass their time and making girls follow them is their biggest achievement.U dont get too emotional..Here all the girls flirt with our handsome Rohan even me .You are the only left out so he talks trash to u,tries to woo u and be a hero infront of u"!!

i said " You are JEALOUS".

She said "bah !! ur not getting me "
I paid deaf ear and happily munched the tasty kolkata Rasgulla !! We had a Dumb-C competition.We were in tie with another group for second position MY self and madhu. Rohan was one of the anchors.He planned the tie breaker.He sang a stupid tough song where we have to identify the singer.We couldnt recognise the singer and lost the competition.I was eyeing him with all fury holding him responsible for our just miss second prize."He said Areey what did I DO?"
He apologised asking me to talk to him...I was acting tough and doing only work that day!!It was night 8Oclock when i was debugging my application..He patted me and shouted "still @ work "I replied "will leave in10min" Turned around and was shocked to have him standing just at my back and shouted "U! I wont talk to U"

He said: “ U already spoke .Now shut the drama and go home LADY!!” We both laughed unintentionally and were chatting for more than 10min when madhu coughed and i realised theres some one else in the cubicle.Rohan said bye and left.Madhu warned me "Please remember what I Told! you are not the kind. You are sensitive"I assured her no harm and left...I just know one thing THAT I AM HAPPY!

We had a DJ night as it was the end of all events and prize distribution that day!He who was dancing like a duck trying to cross the road suddenly came to me .I was laughing and clapping along with few others sitting in one corner of the stage.

He stretched his hand in a filmy manner bent on his knees and asked "Hey Lady care a dance with me" again not a plea but a question in a style which i always love!In a trans i held his hand but suddenly I told "No I dont know the dance"!!He said "I also dont know...So no problem join me!"

I thought for a while and said "No I feel shy !!"A sort of tension occupied me he made a sound which was some thing like "humpff!!" and left angrily ..Later i couldnt deny a bunch of folks madhu, raju,gopal ,sudha rishi who pulled me on stage.I had to move a bit and clap!Couldnt miss his angry face even in the dim light of DJ!Suddenly he smiled clapped and joined us when the remix khaaike paan banaaras vaala was played !Danced with sudha but didnt talk to me not for the rest of the night! madhu whispered looking at my dull face "Fishy eh!!" so she also got doubt ful about this Rohan--Shefali Episode!As far as am concerned am HAPPY..and expected more out of it!!happy when he is funny with me happy when he shouted or got rude to me and wooed later..Happy when i wooed him or fought with him.

Few days passed and one day after a routine conversation he sent a song to me... Kailash Khers song "teri deewani" on my mobile which was missing in my collection!
i was over joyed !! he asked "I WANT SOME THING IN RETURN FOR THIS SONG" i smiled and told "a treat pizza ice cream?"
he said nah nah for every thing!!
i asked then what the hell!!
he told its not hell A heaven I Will ask U soon...Its some thing good and important!!I was horribly puzzled!
Madhavi Exclaimed" is some thing brewing or is it just a joke!!"
for the first time me scared and totally confused told"I DONT KNOW :("
From that day he kept on telling me "u will gimme in return na"
i demanded one day "ASK NOW!i hate this suspense"

He said "HAHAHA!! :) soon soon....when time comes i will ask"
I paid deaf ear to this "I WILL ASK WHEN TIME COMES" but my inner self believed definitely he is gonna propose me and i would be more than happy to accept!!

EVEN MADHAVI was doubt ful this time looking at him reading his chat convos and his changed behavior...

One fine day when i got my hands mehndied for a festival ..He came rushing to my seat held my hands and shouted in a rush "hey ru engaged or wat?"
Madhu who was eyeing me winked and told him" yes !! didnt u see her sweets at desk mail?"He told "yeah !!but i thought simply"
Madhu told "No!she is engaged ....fiancee works as engineer in US."
Sad boy looked at me asking “is it true!!??”
I acted shy and told "all things were in rush we celebrated only with few closer ones"!
he said "RU FOOLING me!"
I showed him mY ENgagement ring which i wear dialy :P...Twitching his brow he left the place

..Madhu said this would be the deciding day!we both were happy.Expect the unexpected he dint ping me immediately!waited and asked the next day !! "RU really engaged!! tell me the truth!"
i showed madhu every word and replied him "DID U FEEL I SOUNDED TRUE! U R FOOLED"
he got angry ..i asked : “y r u asking it so many times?”
He said simply..... feeling sad about your would be slave and the fight started !madhu with a worried face left the cubicle!

One day he found out my birthday by himself and pinged me telling MY BDAY!I said yeah right:)
then he told "Y DO U DISTURB ME LADY"
I asked shockingly "WHY WHAT??"
he told "Arey just now! U ping me and u DONT TALK any thing"
I said "u pinged me idiot "
He said "U pinged dumbo !! or else y wud we talk"
I told "Shut up maddy!"
He said, "Dont dare disturb me like this!Ru getting me!!!"..sayin so he got offline
I Was speechless clueless dazed and puzzled.This is a new face am seeing and a new voice.He avoided my glance in pantry!!

Madhu told he is PSYCHO!i was confused as to interpret some thing out of his behavior or it is just like that!!
I was thinking about the scene the whole weekend.Monday we had a pot luck competition .He tried smiling waving and talking to me but i ignored
I was enough confused to talk and angry on myself for spoiling my weekend.!
He stood next to me and whispered "Angry about my chat!!"
I moved forward as if some one called me towards Madhu and Rishi......Madhu winked at me and showed him who was continously looking at me now and then!
I wanted him to get more confused but he is ROHAN ,Rohan ranjit roy after all a BOY!
With an irritated look he came to me and shouted "abbey why are nt u talking to me!?what did i do" I Was silent!!
He shouted " U R A wierd and rude creature"!
i shouted "less rude and weird than U!"


Few days passed !!I won a prize in potluck and the prize was my favourite book planned by rohan !! I cant be angry with him for long! My dear rohan though foolish sweet and concerned he is I thought and went to his cubicle to thank him!! but couldnt find him!Was told by his team mates he went to bangalore for some work!He was noticeably irregular to office..There was something he is up to! and No one knew the butterflies in my stomach better than me .and madhu guessed my tension so tried hard to avoid his topic ..when ever it came she said "HE IS KOOL DUDE types ! when you ARE IN ROME B A ROMAN Kind" forget him....But I couldnt ..How can I? was all that happened a dream :(We might not be special friends or forever buddies :( but arent the gestures he made special!???? didnt we fall for each other???or was it only me

After a long wait he came back to office...The first question he asked was :”Are you scared to talk to me !! y rnt u talking properly these days” I told its not like that i got busy!!
He asked" did u miss me"!I was speechless........Wanted to tell ya missed a lot! a lot more than u can imagine but just smiled.......Through out the year we never exchanged numbers but one night he called .we had a long conversation hours together .Spoke every damn thing!He requested me to write about him!! It should be my frank opinion on him..It can be negative too!! I wrote what all i can which became quite long!!The final thing came as a shock to me that he is resigning and joining a new company in bangalore !!when he told i was deadly silent.... now used to this forever speechlessness..

He told "abey congratulate me now!! R U STILL Angry with me??!"

Madhu sudha and rishi all looked at him with hatred and nodded as if they understood..He took my hands in to his and shook them hard congratulating himself.

When i was chatting i asked why did u become my fan in ORKUT?and what was that U were about to ask when time comes?!!

He told "fan thing is JLT!!(just like that)and the thing he was about to ask is nothng ..it was a time pass talk!!but he will write some thing about me also soon when time comes"I didnt respond ..was too shocked to do that.He in a smiling mood told "DONT BE SO CENTI Rey!!we will chat talk and stay in touch!"

I said : “letz c,.....”

He said "dont think much and complicate things..Be simple and njoy life" i felt like a KID BEING PREACHED..I THOUGHT WHAT THE HECK...I TRIED STAYING INDIFFERENT BUT IT WAS HARD...Was continously revising all good old memories !! is this LOVE? I had friends but no one influenced me like him!!The day he left I felt doomed,,, shattered..He in high spirits gave a firm hand shake and when he was about to do what i thought of was embrace wishing me good luck! I pushed him little away and told "Good luck for ur new life!"Did he miss the tears controlled with lot of difficulty in my eyes!! i feel he didnt..Could he have guessed it was love i felt for him and he equally co operated for feeling so !!Yes possibly he could have! but again these are the conclusions i was drawing for my dear ROY--Boy but who bothers.....the Modern world is a place full of practicality with very less feelings!!

MR.ROY whistling in high spirits bading good bye to all left the place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Till date i refresh my memories....Our first encounter ....silly fights and his special interest... I FEEL STRANGE!! Is madhu totally right !!now she is equally speechless and confused...

Madhu mailed me some nice fwd mail when i was staring blank at the monitor having one of my forever dreamy thoughts!!

"LIFE HAS NO PAUSE BUTTON!

DREAMS NEVER HAVE EXPIRY DATES!!

TIME DOESNT TAKE A HOLIDAY!!"

LOOK AROUND YOU!! there are people who love u!! this was her extra edition to msg ..i always love her extra editions :)

She was anxiously looking at me fearing how i would react.....I hugged her with out a second thought.....and cried to my hearts content ,to relieve my self .....to start a new beginning....to wait for better people and better days!!

Epilogue:

we come across many people among whom we like few ....like few little more than any one else and dream about few others...but reality has something else in store...Its good if reality and your dreams collide with each other and stay with u!!! it is also not bad...if u meet some one else about whom u didnt dream but were destined to meet...Whatteva it is...You should learn to decide what to do! and dreams can be handled after you decide..........

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